Morning Sex and Pancakes

There are some things in life that I will never understand one of those is love. 

How does something so good go so bad?

How does someone wake up one morning and say oh I am not in love with you any more? 

How does someone to whom you have given your heart just suddenly throw your love away?

Here's my take on this. Morning sex and pancakes when you really want it with bacon and sausage, 

There's your answer.

 You give someone what they want and what they need without regard for your own needs. You develop into this sub person of which was once yourself. You give your heart, your soul and your mind to this person and yet it is not enough for them. You try to be the person they want you to be but all along forgetting who you are. The metamorphosis of a relationship is sometimes one sided. You evolve into this version of yourself that isn't really you. I remember who I was when I first fell in love and the person he fell in love with. I was out every night being the dragon I am. Then he suddenly decides to tame the dragon and when he does POOF it's over. What the fuck is that? 

I desire sex before bed his answer no I really can't get into it until the morning. But what about me? My needs my wants my desires don't matter. I didn't want to be selfish so I played his game. I let him make the rules. What's for breakfast? He wants pancakes I make them, I eat them I gain weight and become undesirable to him. Please note he gained 40 pounds and hasn't seen his cock in a year other than the mirror or when he's looking for a safe place to "whack off" at a charity event to some girl over the phone. And that's my fault? HELL NO!!!!!!!  It is all smoke and mirrors with him.

He fell out of love with himself!!! He feels that he needs to recharge his ego by feeling desired by random women who really don't know who he is. Some woman he will eventually fall out of love with or get bored with.

He told me when we first met that his ex-wife was the angriest person he ever met, about a year later it was me....hmmmm common denominator is him. He is the one who no longer desires himself so he needs to feed his monster within by creating fantasies with others.

So with this being said it is time to let my dragon out of it's cage and it's time to become myself again. It's time to take care of me without worrying about him. It is time to emerge from my lair and become that girl again. The happy, fun loving woman I have always been inside that never needed a man to justify her existence. 

So if someone ever says that my needs don't matter I will remind myself that morning sex and pancakes ain't all it's cracked up to be if you can't get your bacon and sausage as well.

Lesson Fucking Learned!!!!

Banana Pancakes with Bacon

Ingredients

• 2oz butter, cubed 
• 10 oz self rising flour 
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 2 free-range eggs
• 2 tbsp soft light brown sugar
• ½ pint whole milk
• 1 large banana, roughly chopped
• 1-2 tbsp sunflower oil
• 8 slices rind less bacon bacon
• maple or golden syrup, to serve

Preparation method

1. Preheat the oven to 225 F.
2. Melt 1oz of the butter in a small pan over a low heat and leave to cool for five minutes.
3. Put the melted butter, flour, baking powder, eggs, sugar and milk in a food processor and blend until smooth.
4. Pour into a large bowl and mash the banana into the batter with a potato masher.
5. Melt a little of the oil with a cube of butter in a large non-stick frying pan over a medium heat. Wipe around the base of the pan with a thick wad of kitchen paper.
6. Drop four large serving spoonfuls of the banana pancake mixture into the frying pan, spacing well apart. Cook for three minutes, or until the pancakes rise, bubbles appear and the surface appears dry.
7. Flip over with a palette knife and cook on the other side for a further 2-3 minutes, or until pale golden-brown.
8. Transfer to a heatproof plate and keep warm in the oven while you cook the remaining eight pancakes in exactly the same way.
9. Return the frying pan to the heat and add the streaky bacon. Cook for about three minutes on each side until golden and crisp, turning once. Add a splash of oil if the rashers begin to stick.
10. Pile the pancakes onto four warmed plates and top with the fried bacon. Drizzle with a little maple syrup (or golden syrup) and serve the rest separately.

"Cayo Hueso Time & Grilled Snapper with Mango Salsa"

It's been a long time since I left my friends and followers and I must say it's good to be back. When we talk about our lives we talk in great definition of how events have shaped our way of thinking or how we react to others in relationships. I myself have been experiencing both the noun and verb form of pain for the past few months and it had taken my body over like a virus. I didn't know who "I" was anymore nor did I understand what I had become. I recently discovered me again and I now know I am the only person that can define myself. When I define myself I try to remember the hard times I have had recently and how I am overcoming them with professionalism and a positive attitude. I hold my head up high knowing that getting out of a bad relationship with my head held high in honor and knowing it wasn't me that caused the inevitable helps me move forward in life. I have been raked over the hot coals one too many times, thrown under the bus and backed up over and now that I have grown from the experience I will say I am sorry to those hurt along the way. It was all a journey and lesson in life that brought me to this point....the turning point in my life's compass that led me home and as we all know home is where the heart is.

Cayo Hueso is my home and here is where I grew up, not so much as a child does but as a strong woman does. I learned a work ethic here that is ingrained in my head. I learned things here that most mainlanders will never understand. It's a small island and one must work hard to stay afloat. The prices are high as well as the locals and the food here is inspirational. I cast my line out in the potpourri of seafood and always come home with a vast array of flavorful bounties of the ocean. It soothes my soul knowing I hunted and gathered my nightly feast and I can share that feast proudly with friends and family. It is a great sense of self worth knowing that you can finish what you started, knowing no one is gong to drag you down if you fail but help pick you back up and encourage you to try again. I have a dear friend here whose wisdom is appreciated and constantly asked for in good times and bad. She has been a major inspiration to me whether she knows it or not and after writing this I am sure she will know I am speaking of her. My dear chica, she will pick me up when I am down and kick my ass if I am wrong. She will offer advice and experience but the one thing she does not do that I appreciate her for is judging others. So to my dear chica I must say thank you for being here for me as I am here for you. You are a true sista from another mista and loyal to your peers. A chica who will tell me when I try on the "F Me Boots" that she will kill me if I don't buy them because she knows they will lift my spirits as well as my self esteem, she also knows when I am lost and need that emotional backing to help my life's compass point in the right direction. So dear friend thank you for your unconditional love and amazing spirit, you help define me as a woman.
I have made another change in direction as well, I have gone home to find my passion again after it was stripped from my soul this past Christmas. The reason why I started in the culinary profession is the satisfaction I get seeing those who consume my creations enjoy what they have experienced. If you haven't eaten my food before you wouldn't understand the love I put into every step I make in the kitchen. The past few weeks I have soul searched for that love again and I am happy to say it's back and as bad ass as ever. The goddess inside feels renewed and appreciated. My palate once again is alive for flavor and I have been creating some amazing dishes that are uncompromised by the past. New, exciting and creative are good adjectives to describe what's been happening in my life lately and it shined through in the dishes I create. The artist inside still needs some coaxing out of her shell but it's happening and I will be at the top of my game once again. The physical pain sometimes is unbearable but the emotional pain has diminished into mere memories and lessons in life as to what not to do. They say the definition of insanity is to keep making the same mistakes over and over and expect a different result,well the course direction I have taken has made me a better person and I truly have learned from the past. The inspiration I have found here in Cayo Hueso is bountiful and the love I have in my heart has been renewed. I again have let the walls down and have accepted the fact that I am not perfect nor is anyone. Relationships will have their ups and downs but when you start with a solid foundation nothing or no one will ever get in growths way. The mistakes of the past are just that, mistakes, and I refuse to go down that road again. No one in my life will ever strip me of who I am and inspire to be and those I choose to let in will help shape me and guide me into being a better and stronger woman, mother, partner and chef. Now I do want to leave you with a little sample of what's been cooking in my heart, mind and kitchen....Enjoy and Tasty Tastings Everyone.


"Grilled Snapper with Mango Salsa"

Ingredients
1 1/2 cups diced mango
3/4 cup diced peeled, halved and seeded cucumber
1/2 cup diced red onion
2 tsp minced, seeded serrano chile pepper
2 tsp grated key lime zest
3 Tbsp key lime juice
1/2 cup cilantro, coarsely chopped
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/8 tsp chipotle powder
1/4 tsp salt
4 red snapper fillets (6 oz each)
2 Tbsp olive oil

Directions

1. Make salsa: Mix ingredients gently but thoroughly. Refrigerate at least 20 minutes for flavors to blend.
2. Heat outdoor grill or stove top grill pan. Mix ancho chile powder, cinnamon and salt in a cup until blended.
3. Place fish, skin side down, on a baking sheet. Brush top with 1/2 the oil; sprinkle with 1/2 the spice mixture.
4. Place fish on grill skin side up; brush with remaining oil; sprinkle with rest of spices.
5. Grill for 4 minutes on one side then flip and continue grilling for 4 minutes until center is opaque.
6. Remove from grill an serve topped with Mango Salsa

"When The Walls, Came Tumbling Down" "Cindia's Sunday Chicken DInner"

Ok so I have 4 blogs drafted and this is where my head and heart are first and foremost. I have some eager with anticipation of the previous 3 but I really have to throw this out there first. Hope you can understand..

My heart has been trampled on more than a time or two and thus fore I have built a strongest, tallest wall around it. Kryptonite couldn’t weaken the concrete and iron structure my inner demons have constructed to protect me from those malicious, heinous creatures known as men.

My life has been a consistent run of “bad boys” in one way or another. It would always start off nice but then our dark sides would collide and it would be a tumultuous ride on a year long roller coaster as I would try to fix things in every way. Tried to make things right and not seek the truth in any form. I would keep working on re-building the past and never look ahead and say “what’s gonna change this time”? Well this time I am going to change. This time I am the one working on myself and how I control the goddess we all know and love. My goddess is a rambunctious one. She likes to be the center of attention and adored by many. She is the one who shields my inside from those who don’t know me and plasters the fake smile across my face that you see in public. Those who know me see the pain behind that smile and the loneliness in my heart that is yearning to be touched by someone that will fill it with love and emotional stability.

Then all at once he walked into my life like the cyclone of emotions I have imagined and written about so many times. Now please don’t think I am rushing into things, but this is the most emotional and spiritual relationship high one could ever imagine. It’s the one time in life that you just go with your gut and swallow up every other bad experience and realize that this is the one you have been waiting for to make the bad ones worthwhile.

Sometimes it just feels right and damn it you just have to take a leap of faith and let the decaying walls start slowly crumbling to the ground and fill your heart with air and light. Take the darkness of monsters that lie internally and remove the chains that kept them hidden and bound. Show them the love that fills your soul and allow them to sleep soundly as the return inside, as they will always be there for you when you summon them for protection.

Yes, I have let someone in where I swore I wouldn’t. Yes, he has touched me in so many ways that to sit here and write them down would take hours. Yes, the feelings are mutual and growing everyday in leaps and bounds. I am actually convinced this is the reality I am destined for….and I am happy. Happier then I have been in years and when I am in his arms no one can ever come between us…….ever. Then there is the passion, I just don’t think I can get into that with you now but it’s there and it’s real. No man has ever made me feel the ways he does when we are together. I am serious about that friends, I have had my fair share of relationships, most long-term, these feelings are different, they are effortless and natural and when he touches me everything and everyone around us goes away.

 So if you dare to ask this goddess if she is in love, well I may have to say I think so......oh heck Yes! There I admitted it. I am "in love" with someone who fills in all of the blanks on my application.

So for today's recipe I put a pure classic out there dedicated to my sister Cindia June Cannon, who I love with all of my heart and soul. This is the only recipe my sis keeps bugging me to post so I am and at the most perfect time in my life to post this perfect classic.  ENJOY and TASTY TASTINGS EVERYONE!!!

"Cindia's Sunday Chicken with Vegetables"

Enjoy the inviting aroma of roasted chicken infused with a subtle zest of lemon and fragrant rosemary. Yam, carrots and red potatoes bring seasonal color and nutrition to this deliciously tender chicken dish. Serve with a fresh green salad and dinner rolls, if you like.

Ingredients

1 lemon
2 sprigs rosemary
1 (4- to 5-pound) whole chicken
10 small red potatoes, halved
3 large carrots, cut into large chunks
1 yellow onion, cut in 6 wedges
1 (1/2-pound) yam, peeled and cut into large chunks
1 cup low-sodium chicken broth
1 cup white wine
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste

Method

Preheat oven to 425°F.

Pierce lemon all over with a fork. Place whole lemon and rosemary sprigs into cavity of chicken. Truss chicken with butchers' twine and place breast-side up in a large roasting pan. Arrange potatoes, carrots, onions, and yams around the chicken. Pour both and wine over chicken and vegetables, then drizzle chicken with oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Cover chicken tightly with foil and roast chicken and vegetables for 30 minutes.

Reduce to 350°F. Remove foil and set aside for later use. Continue to roast chicken, basting periodically, for 1 1/2 hours more. Transfer chicken to a platter and set aside to let rest for 20 minutes. While chicken is resting, cover vegetables with reserved foil and continue to roast for 20 minutes more.

Carve chicken and serve alongside the roasted vegetables, drizzled with pan juices, if you like.

"Don't Misunderstand Me" "The Goddess Drinks Pinot Noir" and "What The F--k Duck in a Pinot Noir Pop My Cherry Sauce"

Please don’t misunderstand me when I say I love you as being something other than genuine. But you see, the key is to love yourself enough to be able to share the overflow of your heart with others. I don’t fall in love easily nor do I allow the steel walls to buckle. My heart has been laid out on the altar for sacrifice too many times that I have learned to safe guard it with care and summon the inner demons to protect it as needed. As much as we all enjoy the idea of being in love we only see one part of the story. One side of an intricate pattern on a lace tablecloth like the one your grandmother would pull out on special occasions ONLY. The one with the distinct smell of either cedar or mothballs. That tablecloth was guarded just like my heart. Kept safe from ruin and age. 


Please don't misunderstand me as I often find it difficult to express my true feelings as I have learned that someone is always going to take it the wrong way and use it to destroy me, or at least try to. Recently that happened to me, I admitted my feelings to someone. It was not love in any way other than friendship as I knew his situation from the start. It was just telling him that I cared enough about him to let him follow his heart....that's if he had one. I started to carry on with my life and decided to take on something else to another level, but not with him. The outrage and disgust I could see in his eyes when I came home that day. I don't know why he would ever feel that way as he claimed he didn't care. It has been difficult to deal with his unholy terror he unleashed on me subsequently in the past 2 weeks but I am having to re-structure everything and everyone around me. His lies and deceit have hurt my reputation and made my life a living hell......until today. Today is the first day I actually felt human in 10 days. I felt stable and secure as I am making sure the good girl rides away and finishes this blog........  it may take a few more days but I am calm in my decisions today that fact speaks louder than fiction and my life will be much better off as will my heart for even having to go through this kind of pain and emotional torture. I am a better person and will rise out of the ashes like a phoenix. I am the goddess I write as, she is my protector and always keeps me safe from harm. With a sheath draped across her shoulder and the thorny crown that is bestowed atop her head as her love shines down and forgives those that intend to harm me. That goddess is me and lives and breaths inside my heart as my heart is open and accepting to my friends who truly understand my purpose in their lives. My heart understands imperfection and realizes that no one is genuinely without flaw as I am not. 


So please don't misunderstand me when I tell you that I am the person you thought you knew, the person that you gravitated to as you spun around in my orbit and lost sight of the stars above as you watched me fall into a black hole. As I lay dying you breathed life back into my soul and filled my heart with light and hope. You are my true friends the ones that saw this person falling and caught me in yours arms and showed your love and trust for me. This goddess is blessed to have those in her life that through words of light made me realize that this is temporary and will get better and helped me acquire the tools to fix what was broken in my life. Those that made me realize the person I trusted was out to harm me and make me trip and fall even though he would passionately hold me at night. Wife, fiance, girlfriend.....were was I in this mix? I just knew I needed to get out and not be caught under his domain but it was too late. 


So please don't misunderstand me when I say I am sorry. Not just for what he did to me and those I love but for what I allowed him to do to me that caused the spiral downward. I was a sitting duck left saying WTF!


And now the goddess speaks Pinot!


Why do I have such a passion for Pinot Noir. Why does it speak to me in only a language the two of us can understand and engulf my body in it's warm and berrylike essence. I would lay in a claw foot tube full of Pinot Noir and suck it dry with a straw if given a chance (hint to potential beau's). The love and care put into a quality Oregon Pinot makes my heart light and my palate orgasm. The nose itself hits me like the way the room smells after a night of passion and lust, deliciously satisfying. The first taste in my mouth just arouses my passion for this varietal even more and sends a current through my body that fills my mouth with joy and makes me crave more.
I savor every drop of Pinot Noir like it's the last on earth. The first rain after a summer's drought is the refreshing finish to this delicate varietal's appeal. Yes I am a Pinot whore and I am proud. 


It took me a couple of days to perfect the "Pop My Cherry Pinot Sauce" on my "What The F--K Duck" but I hope you enjoy. Duck has always been my favorite members of the poultry family and although I never back down from a kitchen challenge it has sometimes been difficult for me to master. 


Here we go peeps, life goes on and WTF DUCK!!!!


Enjoy and Tasty Tasting Everyone!!!!!!




"What The F--k Duck in a Pinot Noir Pop My Cherry Sauce"


Ingredients


3 tbsp Sugar
3 tbsp water
1/2 cup dried tart cherries
3 tbsp balsamic vinegar
1 1/2 tbsp olive oil
1/2 tspn salt
1 pinch fresh ground black pepper
24oz Fresh Duck Breast boned, halved and skinned
1/4 cup shallots
1 garlic clove
1 1/2 cup Pinot Noir
1/2 cup chicken broth (organic)
1/4 cup whipping cream (not whipped cream)


Combine sugar and 2 tablespoons water in a small, heavy saucepan over medium-high heat; cook until sugar dissolves, stirring gently as needed to dissolve sugar evenly (about 1 minute). Continue cooking 5 minutes or until golden (do not stir). Remove from heat; carefully stir in cherries and vinegar (caramelized sugar will harden and stick to spoon). Place pan over low heat until caramelized sugar melts


Heat 2 teaspoons oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Sprinkle 1/8 teaspoon salt and pepper over duck. Add duck to pan; cook 5 minutes. Turn duck over; cook 4 minutes or until desired degree of doneness. Remove from pan; let stand 5 minutes. Cut duck across the grain into thin slices
Return skillet to medium heat. Add remaining 1 teaspoon oil, shallots, and garlic to pan; cook 1 minute or until tender, stirring frequently. Add wine to pan; increase heat to medium-high. Bring mixture to a boil; cook until reduced to 3/4 cup (about 6 minutes). Add broth; bring to a boil. Cook until reduced to 1/2 cup (about 6 minutes). Pour wine mixture through a fine sieve into cherry mixture; discard solids. Bring cherry mixture to a simmer over medium heat. Stir in cream; simmer 3 minutes. Remove from heat; stir in remaining 1/8 teaspoon salt. Serve sauce over duck.










 

"That Girl Can Cook"

Hey Peeps, took a short leave of absence but I am back and will begin writing my usual 3 a week to fulfill my obligation to "The Man". I have several unfinished blogs over the past 3 weeks and this one I started about a 2 weeks ago and just needed an ending. My muse and co-writer Sarah C and I are just in a funk right now as we consider ourselves "That Girl" but it seems like girls like us never get a fair shake in love or life for whatever reasons. So here we go tonight with a great down home comfort food recipe and a blog about girls like us.




THAT GIRL!!!! That girl that makes your heart pound, the one that makes you wonder who she really is inside and keeps you guessing as to her intent. That girl, the one that makes you think twice about what you're thinking, changes your perspective as to what should be and what could be. That girl, who fills your heart with laughter and makes you lust for that internal sunshine so that you'll never feel alone in the dark. Who is that girl?
She is the one who makes your world a better place. Passionately fills your sexual desires and makes you crave to be inside of her as you kiss her with lustful presence. She is not scared to jump when provoked but still keeps her womanly demeanor as not to embarrass those surrounding her. She will think, solve and rationalize any issue that comes before her with the utmost care and come to genuine conclusions. She is loved by many and loves all of those in her circle so much she will protect and honor them on a continuous basis. Til they trespass against her. She is the one that can carry on and amaze you and those around her with stimulating conversation and never be the one to show the slightest ignorance of any issue. She is the one you don't know but think you do.


It is often impossible to understand a "that girl" as men love her and enjoy her company and women that don't know her well make assumptions regarding her knowledge and skill as they are intimidated by her presence. she is the one that seems to have the world by the balls and will squeeze the life out of them if she deems fit but is never happy in her own self. A mask, a facade or a genuinely deep person with fears and emotions like the rest of us that knows how to wear a camouflage of smiles. She is deeply intrigued with the desire to please and satisfy, she will be a loyal and true partner through life and always have your back no matter if you are justified or not. Don't hurt her as she will crumble internally in the darkness of her soul yet be made of iron on the external alternate and never miss a stride. She will never breakdown or give in to temptations of another if she is destined to be with only one. Her passionate equal, the one that makes her walk around with little wings on her shoes and fills her stomach with butterflies, that appreciates her for who she is, was and going to be. Someone that understands that sometimes life isn't always easy but is willing to make the sacrifice to take the burdens off her chest and let her ventilate her frustrations their way with open arms and ears. Someone to satisfy her craving for lust as he shows his passion with every thrust.


I am that girl in the kitchen...I love to share my recipes and passion for cooking with all of those that will appreciate and respect me for who I am. I cook with love and passion much like the relationships I have been in, I make the most out of every minute we have. I swear my perfect partner would be the one who preps as we dance to sweet sounds, we wouldn't wait for the water to boil as we would be boiling over with passion to the sound of the rolling water steaming from the pot. Dining would be a pleasurable and sensual experience as we would feed each other every morsel with our fingers and lick them clean between bites. Then comes dessert........sweet, hot and a bit over the top as the climax to a beautiful meal.


SO now you tell me am I "That Girl"? 


Enjoy and Tasty Tastings Everyone!!!!!!

Molten Lava Chocolate Cake

makes 2-3 ramekins (1/2 c capacity)

• 60g unsalted butter (do NOT use salted butter here!)
• 60g good quality dark chocolate, finely chopped (I used Lindt 70%)*
• 1 large egg
• 1 large egg yolk
• 1/8c (30g) caster sugar (I accidentally used 45g and it was fine…in fact I’d probably use 45g sugar if using 70% and above chocolate)
• 1 tsp plain flour

* For milk chocolate lovers, maybe use 50%

Preheat oven to 200C, with a rack centred.

Generously butter two to three 1/2c capacity ramekins (or 3/4c if you definitely only want 2), then sift cocoa over the buttered surface and tap around so the cocoa covers all the butter.

Melt butter either in microwave (covered small bowl) or in a very very small saucepan. You want it to be hot. Remove from heat, and add chocolate. Let the heat sit and melt the chocolate.

Meanwhile, in a separate bowl with high-ish sides, whisk (high speed) egg, yolk and sugar until paler and thick, with lots of air bubbles. Go back to the chocolate butter mixture and whisk them until uniform, then whisk the mixture into the eggs gradually (I did it in 3 additions). Whisk in flour until it disappears.

Pour batter into ramekins, place in a brownie tin for ease of removal, and bake 7-10 minutes until tops are just set. Remove immediately and let cool five minutes before running a small sharp knife around the edge just at the top. Turn ramekin upside down onto a plate, and tap top and sides. Never hold the ramekin more than 2cm above the plate, because if the cake falls out, it will go splat. If it needs extra coercion, hold onto the plate and bang them together downwards on a table (not too hard obviously).

Serve with whipped cream (not plain and lazy like I did), good vanilla ice cream, or yogurt. Top with berries and berry coulis or compote, or simply just dust with icing sugar. To be honest I wish I had used berry compote, as the super-fresh farmers market berries were fantastic on their own but a just kinda sour when paired with the chocolate on their own. If you want the prettiness, maybe use a combination of coulis/compote and fresh berries.

"Love, Lust and Other Things" "Chef Sheri's Rocking Shrimp Gumbo"

So folks life is good!!! Sorry I haven't been blogging in awhile I have had the mother of all blocks going on in my head. Confusion had set in and I wasn't exactly sure where my life was taking me. I have been in turmoil emotionally and in matters of the heart. It was rough but now that he is out of my life I feel so much better......until he called me the other day to apologize. It was lost again after that call. It took me only a few hours to snap out of it and it really hurt hearing his voice. He shattered my heart in a way few have ever done and will ever do to me again. So here we go, Love, Lust and Other Things.

Too many times in life you get tossed into something that you just can't explain. Not even your best friends understand why or what you are doing but they stand by you and know that eventually you are going to need their support when the castle crumbles to the ground. There are too many ways to fall, you fall down to your knees to pray, you fall in love and you also can fall so deep into passion and lust you suddenly don't know exactly what you are doing nor care about repercussions. You have this instant "thing". I have always said there's good and evil, love and greed and they're all inside of you and to be honest and integral it's all for you to choose. So now you have to look at each of these characteristics and see which one this relationship fits into. In my kitchen I have to do the same thing, challenge the flavors, put them to the test. See which of the unique characteristics make this the best choice for what I am trying to create and then take a leap of faith and slowly add it into the mix. Sometimes it doesn't work...there is no way and you just have to let go and try something else. Then there are those times that it blends perfectly, seamless, effortless and the flavor worlds collide into a divine creation that will stand up for itself and be there for the world to judge and enjoy. I feel like that inside. I feel like what if's are ok. I feel like I have never in my life been in this kind of situation and to be honest with you I really kind of like it. It's no secret, yet it is, it's no shock to those around me but yet to what level. To say there is passion is an understatement, there is passion like I have never felt before. There is a sense of always wanting to be in this euphoric state and for the most part I am. I could be in a crowded room yet no one else exists. I don't understand. I sleep so well now, although I usually don't get much sleep the time I get is priceless and I awake well-rested. So I am in a state of relationship limbo. A cross between love, lust and other things.
The same components relate to me in the kitchen as do life, sometimes it may seem like one big mess but in the long run it all comes together for euphoric flavors, lustful presentation and the love put into making the masterpiece. So tonight I have included my recipe for Shrimp Gumbo.....Enjoy and Tasty Tastings Everyone!!!


Chef Sheri's Shrimp Gumbo

Ingredients

2 lb. cleaned and deveined med. to sm. shrimp
1 (8 oz.) can crabmeat, claw or white meat, or fresh crabmeat or gumbo crabs
1 lb. okra, cut in 1/4 inch rings, cleaned
1-2 onions, chopped
3 toes garlic, chopped
2-3 stalks celery with leaves, chopped
1 green pepper, chopped
3-5 green onions, chopped
4 tbs. Not You Average Cajun Seasoning

2-3 tbsp. parsley
1 ripe tomato, cut in sm. pieces or can of tomatoes
1 can tomato sauce
Season to taste with salt, pepper, red pepper, thyme, basil

 

METHOD

Start gumbo in 5-quart pot. Make roux with 2 large tablespoons shortening to 1 large tablespoon flour. Stir until medium brown. Add seasonings and shrimp and cook until shrimp are pink and onions soft. Add hot water to half fill pot. Always keep gumbo at a simmer, never boil. Add tomatoes and sauce. Fry off okra in well-greased frying pan on low fire and turn frequently to keep from burning. Cook until it loses its ropiness, and drain on paper towels, about 15-20 minutes. Add okra and crabmeat to gumbo and simmer for 30-45 minutes.
Serve over hot fluffy rice, with French bread or crackers. Tabasco may be added to plate, also gumbo file, if desired. Water may be added to thin, it should be a rust color, the combination of the roux and tomatoes

"Lifers" & "Honey and Rum Glazed Shrimp Salad"

Sometimes you just have to wonder what makes people tick or the cause of their neurosis . You have to understand what the main cause is to their reactions. Is it something I said, did, didn't do, do you not love me anymore, why don't you understand, and on and on as we try to speculate what someone else is thinking. I give up, I do, really........

In the kitchen, when working as a team, speculation and being in tune with each other is a must. Communication is KEY to any relationship in the kitchen or personal.  My sous and I work well together because we look at our relationship in the kitchen as a marriage, we know everything about each others daily lives, routine or lack there of and he knows what to anticipate during the course of service. We communicate telepathically sometimes as he is always ready with the next step before I am. We are a fine running machine cranking out the most divine food in town. It makes me wonder, how come personal relationships don't work that way? How come we find it so hard to communicate with or partners? Why do we try to speculate our partners thoughts and actions only to be shamefully wrong?  I think sometimes, is it because we want to be right. Do we not want things to be smooth or are we trying to fix something and in the course of repair to damage it even further?

Whenever I meet a senior couple I ask them the same questions....how long have you been married? and what's your secret? Those lifers (as I call them) have been committed to the same partner for decades and they are as in love as the first day they committed their hearts to one another. I love the stories they tell of how they first met and why they have been together for so long. I asked one couple a few days ago what their secret was and they told me COMPROMISE, COMMUNICATION and SEX. I asked them to explain and she said "whenever we have a disagreement we always find that compromise is the best solution, we remember we love each other unconditionally and we respect each others beliefs and sometimes it's easier to give in then argue." I nodded my head in agreement and then he said" Communication is important in every way, especially when I tell her how much I love her everyday."  then I asked about sex and she said "well at our age is doesn't happen as much as it used to but we have the memories of many good times and a prescription for Cialis for when we want to make new ones." I of course had to laugh at that one and told them how much I admired them and then walked away with a smile on my face.

So now as I sit and over-analyze things in my life I have to reflect on past relationships and the lesson that kind couple taught me that evening.
Compromise- do I always have to be right? can someone else's opinions and views matter to me? As much as I always try to be right, this goddess is only human and can admit when she has made a mistake or is incorrect. It comes right down to respect and in a relationship that respect must be mutual for it to ever stand a chance of making you a "lifer".

Communication- Darn it guys, when we ask you "what are you thinking" please just give us an honest answer and don't roll your eyes. We just want to know because you are all so darn tough to figure out and god forbid if we assume. So lighten up and answer the damn questions we ask, it helps us now what makes you tick and how to please you, but you had better do some pleasing yourself.......on to.........

Sex- Here is my favorite part. For the most part women love to make their man happy. It is in our nature to please and nurture. If you are not being seduced on a regular basis men then you need to start looking for an answer as to why. Are you being affectionate and playful? Are you making sure we know we are a goddess through your thoughts, actions and passionate kisses? Is she the right girl for you if she has no interest in sex or fulfilling your needs if not get rid of her? Sex is fun and there is a difference between making love and sex. When I make love to a man I love to kiss passionately, connect our souls as we look in each others eyes and hold him so close afterwards because I never want it to end. Making love is the art of connecting with your partner on a passionate and spiritual level while having sex. Now not every time you have sex you make love, oh no. Sex is the act of completely and thoroughly throwing down in the bedroom, or kitchen or wherever because it doesn't matter where you do it or when you do it  you both know it's gonna be good and the fact that you are with someone you deeply care about and love makes it all so sweeter.

So those are the key ingredients in being a "lifer", I always hope to be one someday, share my life with someone through good times and bad. Hold his hand as we communicate openly, and have the best sex/making love either one has ever experienced. Is that too much to ask for? I think not but still wonder if it ever will.

I have included one of my favorite salads today. All the ingredients merge well that's why this recipe is a "lifer" in my book....Enjoy and Tasty Tastings Everyone!!!!

Honey, Lime and Rum Glazed Shrimp

Ingredients

1/2 cup freshly squeezed lime juice

1/2 cup dark rum

1 tbsp freshly grated ginger

2 tbsp cornstarch, dissolved in 2 tbsp lime juice

3/4 cup honey

sea salt and freshly ground black pepper

zest of 2 limes

1/4 cup finely chopped cilantro

20 large shrimp, peeled and deveined

2 tbsp oil or bacon grease (heavenly flavor)

salt and pepper to taste

Directions

1. The glaze: Combine lime juice, rum and ginger in medium-size saucepan and bring to a boil over high heat. Whisk in cornstarch and lime juice mixture and honey. Add salt and pepper to taste. Cook until thickened, about 1 to 2 minutes. Remove from heat and let cool completely. When glaze is cooled, stir in the lime zest and the cilantro. Transfer to a container, cover and keep cool.

2. Preheat grill to medium-hot. Toss shrimp with the oil, 6 tbsp of the glaze and salt and pepper to taste. Grill shrimp for 1 to 2 minutes each side, brushing frequently with more glaze. Cook until shrimp are bright pink on the outside and white on the inside.

Salad


1 8oz package organic spring mix washed and dried 
1/2 Cup sliced red onion
1/2 cup died cranberries
1/4 cup glazed pecans
6oz crumbled goat cheese


layer all ingredients in above order and the top with shrimp.




ENJOY!!!!!!

"Forbidden Fruit" and "Ahi-Melon Ceviche"

What is your dirty little secret? Come on folks we all have one or two tucked deep in the vaults of our mind that make us laugh, sometimes cry and at other times cast an evil smile thinking about times past, present and future. 
I have many dirty little juicy, succulent secrets that no one will ever tap into....that is unless I allow it! I think many of us need to know the difference between what is taboo and what is normal. I believe that if we really look into this subject we will find that our perversity's are quite normal and there is nothing to hide. We live in a different world then the ones that our parents lived in and raised us in, our world is where non-conformity is appreciated and expected and held in the highest regard. I was on an online dating site at one time and thought it was quite strange that men were asking for pictures of my feet instead of my breasts but then realized that we are in a world where it is acceptable to ask these things and that nothing is sacred anymore. It was actually quite fun after awhile but then.....................well that's another story. 


My dirty little secret, I have been involved with 2 men in their 20's in the recent past, well at least they were in their late 20's, and even though for many years of being considered taboo and it is quite the norm now, I still felt awkward and it never really worked out due to my own insecurities. But now that I look back I made one huge mistake, judging a relationship based on age difference and thinking it wasn't socially acceptable. The only reason why I walked away was because I was worried about what other people thought. He didn't care and enjoyed the fact that I was more experienced in, well, everything. He worshiped me like the Goddess I am and I was horrible to him in the end and made every excuse instead of telling him the truth. Sorry Steve :-(


The bible tells us that Eve tempted Adam with an apple, a forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden. When Adam took a bite the small world they knew changed, shut down and everything was revealed. All at once they were cast out unto the land and their innocence was lost. The loss of innocence I have experienced as a chef is on my taste buds. I was a virgin to flavor for many years, overloaded everything I ate with table salt before I tasted it. I never learned to appreciate the flavors for what they were there for, my pleasure. When I open a bottle of my favorite varietal, Pinot Noir I take every bit that bottle has to offer inside my mouth and let my senses do the rest. It is almost like sex for the first time with someone new. You're shy, nervous and really don't know what to expect but in the end you really kind of liked it and want more and more and more. Well folks that's what my taste buds do to me. They throw me into a sheer state of orgasmic pleasure that cums many times a meal. Food is a pleasure equivalent to sex for some like myself and it is hard to stay satisfied with the amazing new generation of chefs we have. Some are traditional, conformists that never think outside the box while others dabble in molecular gastronomy and create scientific culinary delights with some edge. The pleasure I get watching someone devour the food I have created so patiently with love, makes my heart flutter. Whether it be a simple Meatloaf Mashed Potatoes and Gravy or my famous Lobster Tango Mango that has dazzled the finest palates, my fetish is the pleasure I get from the pleasure I create. So tonight peeps here is something to make your mouth orgasm....my Ahi-Melon Ceviche........Enjoy and Tasty Tastings Everyone!




Ahi Tuna and Watermelon Ceviche

Ingredients
Serves 4
1 pound (16 ounces) sushi grade Ahi tuna, diced
2 cups watermelon, 
1 cup diced red onion, chopped
1 teaspoon garlic, minced
1 teaspoon ginger, grated
4 tablespoons soy sauce
2 teaspoon honey4 tablespoons fresh lime juice


1 jalapeño sliced
1 avocado chopped
1 mango diced





Cilantro

Method

Dice the tuna and watermelon into equally small pieces. In a bowl, whisk together soy sauce, honey, and lime juice. Stir in the chopped red onion, garlic, and ginger. Add the tuna and watermelon and toss to distribute the mixture. Add the avocado and carefully stir, making sure that the pieces stay whole. Garnish with cilantro, place atop blue corn chip add mango and sliced jalapeño.


















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Unleashing The Monsters!!!

Need to vent!!!! Here we go.

For some reason I am looking for my monsters tonight. I don't know if it's to deal with the confusion in my brain right now, the wrenching of my gut or if it's just that they need to play for awhile. I have been blocked today, I put out a crappy blog earlier I think and now I need to resurrect some demons and maybe throw a fiery recipe at you later. So here I sit with you tonight, eating really good left over sushi and drinking a Daringly Dark (that what is says on the label) Blueberry Acai juice and thinking it's time for them to get out and play................

We all sit and wonder why and how things get so fucked up. We have to ask ourselves what roles did we play in making this happen and how do we fix it. Some of us just quit and non-exist like I did a few months ago or some of us try as we realize we have no other choice but to carry on like I realize now. Sometimes I wish I could go back to that place again, drowning in the churning waters of the tears I shed. Being a non-entity and having to fake a smile wherever I would venture. It was a hard existence but I muddled through. I remember not getting dressed for two days at a time and just watching endless episodes of Dexter. The Ice Truck Killer, Lila, The Skinner, and John Lithgow's amazing Rita killing, Trinity Killer, I watched Dexter Morgan unleash his demons on them with such passion that it made my blood boil with arousal. I barely remember the friends that came to visit and tell me it was going to be alright. It was a painful time in my life filled with anger and hatred towards myself. But why? I have a great life, great friends a great career, why? I don't think I can ever answer that honestly to anyone but myself. I have bottled up my demons and every now and then I have to ask for their help in  protecting me from whatever pain I am trying to avoid. Death, despair, friendships imploded by jealousy, being alone, trying to understand.............myself. What is so fucking wrong with me?

I am an alright person, I am a great mother and chef and I have a full life in the music business. Sure I don't sleep when I'm home I stay up and work on recipes and writing until I can't hold my head up any longer and pass out on the couch because god knows I damn sure don't want to sleep in that bed. I get maybe 3 hours of sleep when I'm home and the nights scare me so I wait until dawn to lay my head down. I want to walk out on the beach to scream like a mermaid being plucked out of the water against her will to relieve frustrations. I have never done it because I seem to find myself climbing in my tiny shower and sitting in the corner and crying my heart out where no one will find me.

But on the bright side I have fun!!! I balance everything so well I can go out and enjoy my musician friends and their glorious talent with no regret as to any issues in my life. The hard driving, soul shaking beats make my heart beat in their time. I find my greatest escape is within those walls where the music brings life to my soulless self. I let down my game face after the first set and from then on it's a vacation from everyday life into the world of my musician friends and I LOVE IT!!! That's when the demons get unleashed and play, they build up strength from the riveting beats to shield my heart and soul and protect me from those that trespass against me. They fill my insides with their glowing light of fiery attitude and frivolous spirit, and no one can ever take that from me. It is my desire and need to let them play every now and then or my brain would implode from thinking too much. My demons help keep my heart from being the sacrificial lamb I wrote about 3 weeks ago. They keep my thoughts in check and organize them in such a way the next morning I wake up with a clean slate. So there is nothing wrong with my demons being unleashed every now and then as long as I keep them at bay when they aren't needed for survival.

My demons also help me deal with intimacy at all levels by making me a facade of strength when my guard is down. They help me hide my imperfections and disguise my heart so no one can break it. They shield my soul so no one can strip it bare and leave it in pieces on the ground. Sometimes they are not there and I let someone in at my own risk. No protection or disguise, just the shell of a heart and selfless soul left in the open for yet another round of fuck with my head. Not always the case but the last go round was pure hell and I never want to go back there again. 

So tonight I wanted to write and put this out there. I needed to vent some frustrations and give you a look inside my head. I am always the goddess but sometimes it's nice to take a walk on the wild side.

Good Night Friends! Tasty Tastings Everyone

'A Guys, Girl and Creme Brulee!"

Being a guys girl isn't easy, a friend stated earlier that as a guy's girl I have to put up with a lot of crap. It all depends on how you look at it I guess. I have many female friends who's friendship's and heart's I treasure. Their strength cannot be measured as they have broad shoulders and big arms on many different girlish frames. These women are goddesss in my opinion but I will always be me, the guy's girl. Ball game watching, fish catching, beer drinking (3-I'm a light weight), Bill Maher quoting, action movie loving me. I can still be a girly girl at times as I love my mani-pedi's, being pampered, heavy petting, passionate kissing, dressing up, flirting and retail therapy but the vast majority of my friends are guy's who appreciate guy's girls and of course respect and worship me for being the goddess in which I am.

Being the consummate guy's girl isn't always easy, there are rules. First you have to learn to tolerate certain male traits that you and others may find annoying even offending. Second, sometimes you have to pretend you like something you really don't like but find out in the long run you really do like it. And third, you may have to watch your heart as one of your guy friends may try to steal it without you even knowing and that means trouble. Once you can decipher which guys you can be a guy's girl with and those that make your heart scream danger you are ready to be the consummate guy's girl.

Rule 1. Men can and will be pigs if given any opportunity. Not all of them of course, but nonetheless some of the ones I am friends with are, and apparently the level of guy/girl trust is there between us that there are no holes barred. Off color humor, sexist jokes, sounds, smells and habits must be tolerated if you are going to be a guy's girl.

Rule 2. Taking interest in things that you normally don't take interest in. Examples: Extreme fighting, killing helpless animals and beer pong. Okay I like beer pong as it is challenging but ask me to shoot, gut and eat a deer after looking into it's sweet brown eyes and I run to the hills. But I have learned through experience that it is okay to not like something as being a guy's girl you have to be open minded and be prepared for everything and anything. Who knows you may like it after all and it becomes part of your lifestyle. Like jumping out of an airplane.

Rule 3: To me this is the most important rule as my heart has been destroyed many times by this type of guy. I have many guy friends that seem to fall in love with this guy's girl. Hey, it hurts all parties involved. This is the type of relationship that starts as any typical guy's girl friendship starts, a night shooting pool, diving in the Keys, a Bucs game, or even just an innocent chat on the phone, and it blossoms into an explosion of pure sexual tension that is one-sided and un-warranted or needed to be my friend. I do not expect anything more then friendship and honesty from my guy friends and some seem to take it to the extreme that can be painful and scary at times. I get asked out by guy friends on dates al least 4 times a week and I usually don't go as it is the intention of the invitation, being a "date" that drives me away. I have had relationships with guy friends and it just doesn't work for me. Well, not all the time anyway, I married a close guy friend and after many years together it fell apart because we were too good of friends for it to work. Nothing was sacred and after all the fun and games we had, in the long run, we weren't who we thought we were after all. It's devastating so I stay away from those type of friendships. It took alot to get over him but we have remained friends after 6 years divorced and life is better that way. The space time continuum will not be interrupted.

Sometimes I have to look at myself in the mirror and ask what do I have to offer and what do I really want in my life when it comes to relationships. I know I can show him things he's never seen before for his mind to untangle on his own and through my eyes. Thoughts of deep contemplation that really stir up emotions and desires that leave our hearts pounding out of our chests can often happen. I just don't know what goes on in my heart and head sometimes and why I feel like I am alone when I'm not. I can't say how I feel here in this public forum as I'm not sure but how to handle these thoughts and emotions. They are a different story and blog for another time. So for right now I may as well make some creme brulee. Enjoy and Tasty Tastings Everyone!!!

Dark Chocolate and Caramelized Banana Creme Brulee"

Ingredients:

• 2 cups heavy cream
• 2 cups half and half
• 8 ounces dark chocolate, chopped fine
• 8 large egg yolks
• 1/3 cup sugar plus more for sprinkling
• 1 large banana, peeled and sliced into 1/4-inch rounds

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 300°F. In a large pot, heat cream and half and half until they just begin to bubble. Reduce heat to low. Add chocolate and whisk until melted and smooth. Remove from heat. Whisk yolks and 1/3 cup sugar in large bowl and blend well. Egg yolks will turn light yellow. Gradually whisk in hot chocolate mixture. Strain (optional). Divide custard among eight 6-ounce ramekins or custard cups. Place cups in large baking pan. Add enough hot water to pan to come halfway up sides of cups. Bake until custards are just set (about 45 minutes). Custard will be mostly solid but still jiggle a bit in the center. Remove from water and refrigerate overnight.

When ready to serve, preheat broiler. Place banana slices on top of crème brûlées in a single layer. Sprinkle the top of each dish with 1 tablespoon sugar. Broil until sugar turns golden (about 3 minutes). Watch very closely while broiling to avoid burning the sugar. Alternatively, you can brown the sugar with a handheld propane or butane torch.

For a spicy edition add 1/4 teaspoon of chipotle powder in the creme brulee mix before you cook.