"Lifers" & "Honey and Rum Glazed Shrimp Salad"

Sometimes you just have to wonder what makes people tick or the cause of their neurosis . You have to understand what the main cause is to their reactions. Is it something I said, did, didn't do, do you not love me anymore, why don't you understand, and on and on as we try to speculate what someone else is thinking. I give up, I do, really........

In the kitchen, when working as a team, speculation and being in tune with each other is a must. Communication is KEY to any relationship in the kitchen or personal.  My sous and I work well together because we look at our relationship in the kitchen as a marriage, we know everything about each others daily lives, routine or lack there of and he knows what to anticipate during the course of service. We communicate telepathically sometimes as he is always ready with the next step before I am. We are a fine running machine cranking out the most divine food in town. It makes me wonder, how come personal relationships don't work that way? How come we find it so hard to communicate with or partners? Why do we try to speculate our partners thoughts and actions only to be shamefully wrong?  I think sometimes, is it because we want to be right. Do we not want things to be smooth or are we trying to fix something and in the course of repair to damage it even further?

Whenever I meet a senior couple I ask them the same questions....how long have you been married? and what's your secret? Those lifers (as I call them) have been committed to the same partner for decades and they are as in love as the first day they committed their hearts to one another. I love the stories they tell of how they first met and why they have been together for so long. I asked one couple a few days ago what their secret was and they told me COMPROMISE, COMMUNICATION and SEX. I asked them to explain and she said "whenever we have a disagreement we always find that compromise is the best solution, we remember we love each other unconditionally and we respect each others beliefs and sometimes it's easier to give in then argue." I nodded my head in agreement and then he said" Communication is important in every way, especially when I tell her how much I love her everyday."  then I asked about sex and she said "well at our age is doesn't happen as much as it used to but we have the memories of many good times and a prescription for Cialis for when we want to make new ones." I of course had to laugh at that one and told them how much I admired them and then walked away with a smile on my face.

So now as I sit and over-analyze things in my life I have to reflect on past relationships and the lesson that kind couple taught me that evening.
Compromise- do I always have to be right? can someone else's opinions and views matter to me? As much as I always try to be right, this goddess is only human and can admit when she has made a mistake or is incorrect. It comes right down to respect and in a relationship that respect must be mutual for it to ever stand a chance of making you a "lifer".

Communication- Darn it guys, when we ask you "what are you thinking" please just give us an honest answer and don't roll your eyes. We just want to know because you are all so darn tough to figure out and god forbid if we assume. So lighten up and answer the damn questions we ask, it helps us now what makes you tick and how to please you, but you had better do some pleasing yourself.......on to.........

Sex- Here is my favorite part. For the most part women love to make their man happy. It is in our nature to please and nurture. If you are not being seduced on a regular basis men then you need to start looking for an answer as to why. Are you being affectionate and playful? Are you making sure we know we are a goddess through your thoughts, actions and passionate kisses? Is she the right girl for you if she has no interest in sex or fulfilling your needs if not get rid of her? Sex is fun and there is a difference between making love and sex. When I make love to a man I love to kiss passionately, connect our souls as we look in each others eyes and hold him so close afterwards because I never want it to end. Making love is the art of connecting with your partner on a passionate and spiritual level while having sex. Now not every time you have sex you make love, oh no. Sex is the act of completely and thoroughly throwing down in the bedroom, or kitchen or wherever because it doesn't matter where you do it or when you do it  you both know it's gonna be good and the fact that you are with someone you deeply care about and love makes it all so sweeter.

So those are the key ingredients in being a "lifer", I always hope to be one someday, share my life with someone through good times and bad. Hold his hand as we communicate openly, and have the best sex/making love either one has ever experienced. Is that too much to ask for? I think not but still wonder if it ever will.

I have included one of my favorite salads today. All the ingredients merge well that's why this recipe is a "lifer" in my book....Enjoy and Tasty Tastings Everyone!!!!

Honey, Lime and Rum Glazed Shrimp

Ingredients

1/2 cup freshly squeezed lime juice

1/2 cup dark rum

1 tbsp freshly grated ginger

2 tbsp cornstarch, dissolved in 2 tbsp lime juice

3/4 cup honey

sea salt and freshly ground black pepper

zest of 2 limes

1/4 cup finely chopped cilantro

20 large shrimp, peeled and deveined

2 tbsp oil or bacon grease (heavenly flavor)

salt and pepper to taste

Directions

1. The glaze: Combine lime juice, rum and ginger in medium-size saucepan and bring to a boil over high heat. Whisk in cornstarch and lime juice mixture and honey. Add salt and pepper to taste. Cook until thickened, about 1 to 2 minutes. Remove from heat and let cool completely. When glaze is cooled, stir in the lime zest and the cilantro. Transfer to a container, cover and keep cool.

2. Preheat grill to medium-hot. Toss shrimp with the oil, 6 tbsp of the glaze and salt and pepper to taste. Grill shrimp for 1 to 2 minutes each side, brushing frequently with more glaze. Cook until shrimp are bright pink on the outside and white on the inside.

Salad


1 8oz package organic spring mix washed and dried 
1/2 Cup sliced red onion
1/2 cup died cranberries
1/4 cup glazed pecans
6oz crumbled goat cheese


layer all ingredients in above order and the top with shrimp.




ENJOY!!!!!!

"Forbidden Fruit" and "Ahi-Melon Ceviche"

What is your dirty little secret? Come on folks we all have one or two tucked deep in the vaults of our mind that make us laugh, sometimes cry and at other times cast an evil smile thinking about times past, present and future. 
I have many dirty little juicy, succulent secrets that no one will ever tap into....that is unless I allow it! I think many of us need to know the difference between what is taboo and what is normal. I believe that if we really look into this subject we will find that our perversity's are quite normal and there is nothing to hide. We live in a different world then the ones that our parents lived in and raised us in, our world is where non-conformity is appreciated and expected and held in the highest regard. I was on an online dating site at one time and thought it was quite strange that men were asking for pictures of my feet instead of my breasts but then realized that we are in a world where it is acceptable to ask these things and that nothing is sacred anymore. It was actually quite fun after awhile but then.....................well that's another story. 


My dirty little secret, I have been involved with 2 men in their 20's in the recent past, well at least they were in their late 20's, and even though for many years of being considered taboo and it is quite the norm now, I still felt awkward and it never really worked out due to my own insecurities. But now that I look back I made one huge mistake, judging a relationship based on age difference and thinking it wasn't socially acceptable. The only reason why I walked away was because I was worried about what other people thought. He didn't care and enjoyed the fact that I was more experienced in, well, everything. He worshiped me like the Goddess I am and I was horrible to him in the end and made every excuse instead of telling him the truth. Sorry Steve :-(


The bible tells us that Eve tempted Adam with an apple, a forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden. When Adam took a bite the small world they knew changed, shut down and everything was revealed. All at once they were cast out unto the land and their innocence was lost. The loss of innocence I have experienced as a chef is on my taste buds. I was a virgin to flavor for many years, overloaded everything I ate with table salt before I tasted it. I never learned to appreciate the flavors for what they were there for, my pleasure. When I open a bottle of my favorite varietal, Pinot Noir I take every bit that bottle has to offer inside my mouth and let my senses do the rest. It is almost like sex for the first time with someone new. You're shy, nervous and really don't know what to expect but in the end you really kind of liked it and want more and more and more. Well folks that's what my taste buds do to me. They throw me into a sheer state of orgasmic pleasure that cums many times a meal. Food is a pleasure equivalent to sex for some like myself and it is hard to stay satisfied with the amazing new generation of chefs we have. Some are traditional, conformists that never think outside the box while others dabble in molecular gastronomy and create scientific culinary delights with some edge. The pleasure I get watching someone devour the food I have created so patiently with love, makes my heart flutter. Whether it be a simple Meatloaf Mashed Potatoes and Gravy or my famous Lobster Tango Mango that has dazzled the finest palates, my fetish is the pleasure I get from the pleasure I create. So tonight peeps here is something to make your mouth orgasm....my Ahi-Melon Ceviche........Enjoy and Tasty Tastings Everyone!




Ahi Tuna and Watermelon Ceviche

Ingredients
Serves 4
1 pound (16 ounces) sushi grade Ahi tuna, diced
2 cups watermelon, 
1 cup diced red onion, chopped
1 teaspoon garlic, minced
1 teaspoon ginger, grated
4 tablespoons soy sauce
2 teaspoon honey4 tablespoons fresh lime juice


1 jalapeño sliced
1 avocado chopped
1 mango diced





Cilantro

Method

Dice the tuna and watermelon into equally small pieces. In a bowl, whisk together soy sauce, honey, and lime juice. Stir in the chopped red onion, garlic, and ginger. Add the tuna and watermelon and toss to distribute the mixture. Add the avocado and carefully stir, making sure that the pieces stay whole. Garnish with cilantro, place atop blue corn chip add mango and sliced jalapeño.


















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Unleashing The Monsters!!!

Need to vent!!!! Here we go.

For some reason I am looking for my monsters tonight. I don't know if it's to deal with the confusion in my brain right now, the wrenching of my gut or if it's just that they need to play for awhile. I have been blocked today, I put out a crappy blog earlier I think and now I need to resurrect some demons and maybe throw a fiery recipe at you later. So here I sit with you tonight, eating really good left over sushi and drinking a Daringly Dark (that what is says on the label) Blueberry Acai juice and thinking it's time for them to get out and play................

We all sit and wonder why and how things get so fucked up. We have to ask ourselves what roles did we play in making this happen and how do we fix it. Some of us just quit and non-exist like I did a few months ago or some of us try as we realize we have no other choice but to carry on like I realize now. Sometimes I wish I could go back to that place again, drowning in the churning waters of the tears I shed. Being a non-entity and having to fake a smile wherever I would venture. It was a hard existence but I muddled through. I remember not getting dressed for two days at a time and just watching endless episodes of Dexter. The Ice Truck Killer, Lila, The Skinner, and John Lithgow's amazing Rita killing, Trinity Killer, I watched Dexter Morgan unleash his demons on them with such passion that it made my blood boil with arousal. I barely remember the friends that came to visit and tell me it was going to be alright. It was a painful time in my life filled with anger and hatred towards myself. But why? I have a great life, great friends a great career, why? I don't think I can ever answer that honestly to anyone but myself. I have bottled up my demons and every now and then I have to ask for their help in  protecting me from whatever pain I am trying to avoid. Death, despair, friendships imploded by jealousy, being alone, trying to understand.............myself. What is so fucking wrong with me?

I am an alright person, I am a great mother and chef and I have a full life in the music business. Sure I don't sleep when I'm home I stay up and work on recipes and writing until I can't hold my head up any longer and pass out on the couch because god knows I damn sure don't want to sleep in that bed. I get maybe 3 hours of sleep when I'm home and the nights scare me so I wait until dawn to lay my head down. I want to walk out on the beach to scream like a mermaid being plucked out of the water against her will to relieve frustrations. I have never done it because I seem to find myself climbing in my tiny shower and sitting in the corner and crying my heart out where no one will find me.

But on the bright side I have fun!!! I balance everything so well I can go out and enjoy my musician friends and their glorious talent with no regret as to any issues in my life. The hard driving, soul shaking beats make my heart beat in their time. I find my greatest escape is within those walls where the music brings life to my soulless self. I let down my game face after the first set and from then on it's a vacation from everyday life into the world of my musician friends and I LOVE IT!!! That's when the demons get unleashed and play, they build up strength from the riveting beats to shield my heart and soul and protect me from those that trespass against me. They fill my insides with their glowing light of fiery attitude and frivolous spirit, and no one can ever take that from me. It is my desire and need to let them play every now and then or my brain would implode from thinking too much. My demons help keep my heart from being the sacrificial lamb I wrote about 3 weeks ago. They keep my thoughts in check and organize them in such a way the next morning I wake up with a clean slate. So there is nothing wrong with my demons being unleashed every now and then as long as I keep them at bay when they aren't needed for survival.

My demons also help me deal with intimacy at all levels by making me a facade of strength when my guard is down. They help me hide my imperfections and disguise my heart so no one can break it. They shield my soul so no one can strip it bare and leave it in pieces on the ground. Sometimes they are not there and I let someone in at my own risk. No protection or disguise, just the shell of a heart and selfless soul left in the open for yet another round of fuck with my head. Not always the case but the last go round was pure hell and I never want to go back there again. 

So tonight I wanted to write and put this out there. I needed to vent some frustrations and give you a look inside my head. I am always the goddess but sometimes it's nice to take a walk on the wild side.

Good Night Friends! Tasty Tastings Everyone

'A Guys, Girl and Creme Brulee!"

Being a guys girl isn't easy, a friend stated earlier that as a guy's girl I have to put up with a lot of crap. It all depends on how you look at it I guess. I have many female friends who's friendship's and heart's I treasure. Their strength cannot be measured as they have broad shoulders and big arms on many different girlish frames. These women are goddesss in my opinion but I will always be me, the guy's girl. Ball game watching, fish catching, beer drinking (3-I'm a light weight), Bill Maher quoting, action movie loving me. I can still be a girly girl at times as I love my mani-pedi's, being pampered, heavy petting, passionate kissing, dressing up, flirting and retail therapy but the vast majority of my friends are guy's who appreciate guy's girls and of course respect and worship me for being the goddess in which I am.

Being the consummate guy's girl isn't always easy, there are rules. First you have to learn to tolerate certain male traits that you and others may find annoying even offending. Second, sometimes you have to pretend you like something you really don't like but find out in the long run you really do like it. And third, you may have to watch your heart as one of your guy friends may try to steal it without you even knowing and that means trouble. Once you can decipher which guys you can be a guy's girl with and those that make your heart scream danger you are ready to be the consummate guy's girl.

Rule 1. Men can and will be pigs if given any opportunity. Not all of them of course, but nonetheless some of the ones I am friends with are, and apparently the level of guy/girl trust is there between us that there are no holes barred. Off color humor, sexist jokes, sounds, smells and habits must be tolerated if you are going to be a guy's girl.

Rule 2. Taking interest in things that you normally don't take interest in. Examples: Extreme fighting, killing helpless animals and beer pong. Okay I like beer pong as it is challenging but ask me to shoot, gut and eat a deer after looking into it's sweet brown eyes and I run to the hills. But I have learned through experience that it is okay to not like something as being a guy's girl you have to be open minded and be prepared for everything and anything. Who knows you may like it after all and it becomes part of your lifestyle. Like jumping out of an airplane.

Rule 3: To me this is the most important rule as my heart has been destroyed many times by this type of guy. I have many guy friends that seem to fall in love with this guy's girl. Hey, it hurts all parties involved. This is the type of relationship that starts as any typical guy's girl friendship starts, a night shooting pool, diving in the Keys, a Bucs game, or even just an innocent chat on the phone, and it blossoms into an explosion of pure sexual tension that is one-sided and un-warranted or needed to be my friend. I do not expect anything more then friendship and honesty from my guy friends and some seem to take it to the extreme that can be painful and scary at times. I get asked out by guy friends on dates al least 4 times a week and I usually don't go as it is the intention of the invitation, being a "date" that drives me away. I have had relationships with guy friends and it just doesn't work for me. Well, not all the time anyway, I married a close guy friend and after many years together it fell apart because we were too good of friends for it to work. Nothing was sacred and after all the fun and games we had, in the long run, we weren't who we thought we were after all. It's devastating so I stay away from those type of friendships. It took alot to get over him but we have remained friends after 6 years divorced and life is better that way. The space time continuum will not be interrupted.

Sometimes I have to look at myself in the mirror and ask what do I have to offer and what do I really want in my life when it comes to relationships. I know I can show him things he's never seen before for his mind to untangle on his own and through my eyes. Thoughts of deep contemplation that really stir up emotions and desires that leave our hearts pounding out of our chests can often happen. I just don't know what goes on in my heart and head sometimes and why I feel like I am alone when I'm not. I can't say how I feel here in this public forum as I'm not sure but how to handle these thoughts and emotions. They are a different story and blog for another time. So for right now I may as well make some creme brulee. Enjoy and Tasty Tastings Everyone!!!

Dark Chocolate and Caramelized Banana Creme Brulee"

Ingredients:

• 2 cups heavy cream
• 2 cups half and half
• 8 ounces dark chocolate, chopped fine
• 8 large egg yolks
• 1/3 cup sugar plus more for sprinkling
• 1 large banana, peeled and sliced into 1/4-inch rounds

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 300°F. In a large pot, heat cream and half and half until they just begin to bubble. Reduce heat to low. Add chocolate and whisk until melted and smooth. Remove from heat. Whisk yolks and 1/3 cup sugar in large bowl and blend well. Egg yolks will turn light yellow. Gradually whisk in hot chocolate mixture. Strain (optional). Divide custard among eight 6-ounce ramekins or custard cups. Place cups in large baking pan. Add enough hot water to pan to come halfway up sides of cups. Bake until custards are just set (about 45 minutes). Custard will be mostly solid but still jiggle a bit in the center. Remove from water and refrigerate overnight.

When ready to serve, preheat broiler. Place banana slices on top of crème brûlées in a single layer. Sprinkle the top of each dish with 1 tablespoon sugar. Broil until sugar turns golden (about 3 minutes). Watch very closely while broiling to avoid burning the sugar. Alternatively, you can brown the sugar with a handheld propane or butane torch.

For a spicy edition add 1/4 teaspoon of chipotle powder in the creme brulee mix before you cook.

The Goddess's Food to Sex Quiz!! "SAVE A HORSE RIDE A COWBOY CHILI"

I had to get some help with this one so I called my good friend and fellow goddess Sarah C. to lend a hand. She was my amusing muse this morning and really helped inspire this entry. Thank you Sarah!!!!

(excerpt from my book GastroErotica)

We all want to feel loved and appreciated both in the kitchen and the bedroom as these are the two places we try to create pleasure. We cook with love to create the amazing dishes that come from our hearts and minds out of the kitchen and the same goes for the bedroom. We all want to please the person we are intimate with in many ways, and a goddess can find something sexual in just about everything. The reason for this is that her sexuality is the organizing context for her thoughts. A goddess can find something sexual in virtually every object, person and situation that presents itself. Now this doesn't mean that she feels compelled to act on what she sees, thinks or feels by any stretch of the imagination. But as you might imagine this goddess is never bored............;-)

We've all seen movies where food is shown in being used in a highly erotic way, 9 1/2 weeks, for example (need I say more?). I don't know anyone who doesn't think that the infamous food scene that took place on the kitchen floor in that film wasn't incredibly sexy and exciting. But how many of you have ever tried anything like that? I don't see too many raised hands out there.....Well prepare for a change, because this goddess loves to play with her food. Honey, chocolate sauce, whipped cream, ice cream, iced cubes, ripe bananas and strawberry sauce....mmmmmm. The compliment "You look good enough to eat" takes on a whole new meaning when sweet, sticky honey comes into play.

So this goddess wants to know what you think about the relationship of food and sex. I came up with this humorous little quiz that compares sex to food and I would like to know your responses so please feel free to comment below or if you arrived here through a facebook link leave me a comment telling me which one of the following best fits your appetite. Here we go!!!!

American Idiot Apple Pie Sex- As Lucy and Ricky as you can get, black and white. Missionary is your only position in mind. If you could you would have two twin beds and you secretly wish Fred and Ethel would be watching. Lucy you got some splaining to do...

Rock Lobster Bisque Sex-  Slow, steady and consistent. Passionate and warm at first then meaty and fulfilling in the end. This creamy soup leaves your palate wanting more and more and it never fails to satisfy.

Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am Dragon Roll Sex- Hot and outside of the box it's quick to take down this luscious surprise but you know there is another piece coming. The sheer ease of this dish makes it a pleasure morning, noon and night.

Save A Horse Ride A Cowboy Chili Sex- Comfort food at it's best....meaty, spicy and one hot mess. Ever been to a rodeo? The bucking of the bronco's describes this dish the best. It's hard, rough and all over the place but with this dish of substance more than 8 seconds count. It's the pageantry of passion that takes place and leaves an imprint on your mind that makes you want another bowlful.

So tell me which one best describes what you like and how you like it? Don't be shy......I'm not. ;-)

So tonight folks I will leave you with one of my Texas recipes I like best, "Save A Horse Ride A Cowboy Chili"  Enjoy and Tasty Tastings Everyone!!!

"Save A Horse Ride A Cowboy Chili"

INGREDIENTS

---

• 2lbs. Course chili meat or ground beef 
• 1lb. ground pork
• 1lb. ground italian sausage
• 24oz. Mexican Chorrizo sausage 
• (2) 12oz bottles Shiner Bock beer
• 2 jalapeno peppers chopped ( or more depending on where your are from )
• 2-4 tbsps. of chili powder
• 4 cloves crushed garlic
• 1 tbsp. finely chopped green onions
• 1 tbsp. black pepper
• 1-3 tsps. dried oregano
• 1 tbsp. cumin powder
• 1 tbsp. salt
• 1 16oz. can of tomato sauce ( your choice )
• 1 tbsp. finely chopped green bell pepper

METHOD

---

• Mix well all the meat in a large pot and brown( CUT OPEN ALL MEAT CASINGS and squeeze out)
• Mix well until done
• Add tomato sauce, beer or wine, and all the seasonings
• Cook over low - medium heat for 30 min. stirring occasionally to avoid sticking
• Then reduce heat to low and cover and cook 1 hour more
• Stiring occasionally
• Sample, sample and sample
• Add more whatever you think it needs ( you make the call )
• Turn heat off and let cool
• Place in the refrigerator over night ( yep over night )
• Reheat the next day and serve it your way!

BALANCE

I am writing tonight as me, humble and hurt and asking for help only to learn that it is within.

bal·ance

[bal-uhns]  noun, verb, -anced, -anc·ing.

–noun

1.

a state of equilibrium or equipoise; equal distribution of weight, amount, etc.

2.

something used to produce equilibrium; counterpoise.

3.

mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior, judgment, etc.

What does it mean to have balance in our lives? I try to establish balance by being a mother, having a career and developing relationships. Sometimes it's just not that easy to achieve. Sometimes we need crutches to give us balance and help us function through daily activities. My crutch was caffeine. Glorious Red Bull in all it's fruity splendor makes my knees cave. The very thought of popping the can open and taking that first sip was what kept me going. Now I must free myself from those crutches to maintain a healthy lifestyle. My girlfriends made a comment the other night that 60oz of Red Bull a day was way too much to do any good. Well I hate to say it but it's more like 80 and then the Mountain Dew and 5 Hour Energy drinks that help me maintain personal and professional balance. I checked my blood pressure Saturday night and that was a rude awakening for me and embarrassing. I used to laugh about it and say I was achieving my goal of having a worlds record, but then I realized exactly what it was doing to my body and the long term effects. So friends I have been caffeine free for over 24 hours now and I am a hot mess. This is difficult and has my mind racing like a junkie looking for her next fix. I'm not getting any younger so I have decided to start some serious behavioral modification in order to reach my goals and getting my blood pressure back in check is on the top of my list. Now I must figure out what to do in order to achieve my goals.......any suggestions for I am weak?

In my professional life I have to achieve balance in the kitchen when I am blending flavors. I have to use just the right amount of herbs and spices so that I may reach perfect balance in the dishes I create and it's not always easy. Much like relationships you sometimes have to try a few times with that one ingredient to make it work and understand just how complex things really are. Sometimes you have to stand back and look at things through someone else's eyes in order to understand what is really going on. I myself have been a holy terror lately within myself. I have gone through some major life changing events these past few months that I can only fix inside myself. The pain and anger I sometimes feel cloud my judgement then stress comes knocking at my door and this is where balance comes in. I need to find harmonious balance within and in order to achieve that I must make these changes. Look folks I'm not perfect and even though I sometimes try to be and it will never happen. Accept me for who I am, the person inside or do not accept me at all. I am a goddess in many ways but deep down inside I am me and I really do like me. It's not easy for me to admit that I need help but I am weak and I do. I put it all out there every time I write and I know I am judged and I know that some may not like what I have to say but it's me, the woman I am flesh and bone. No one will ever make me feel like I have been made to feel in the past and I will never, ever let that happen to me again. So I sit here and cry tears on my keyboard because I realize the mistakes I have made in the past and I now know what I must do to change them. The book project and my blog have been the biggest help to me in fixing myself and achieving balance within but now I must look further to maintain the healthy lifestyle that I threw out the window a long time ago in order to be here for my daughter. I must regroup my thoughts and actions to get through this withdrawal I am going through and in the end I will be a much better person.

I am thankful to my followers and fans and please understand that this past weeks events have left me emotionally inept at times. I am not posting a recipe tonight as I must try and work off some of this frustration before I can. Have no fear I will be sharing my recipe for Chocolate Chipotle BBQ Sauce in my next blog.

Tasty Tastings Everyone!

The Orchestration of My Life" "Goat Cheese Souffle' "

Here I am, sitting in front of my life and writing it aloud for the world. to read. Posting my innermost thoughts, desires and fears for the world to judge me by. But who am I really? Not the goddess that posts her naughty self regularly for your enjoyment but a woman who much like many feels alone in the world. I am hurt, lost and longing for your love and acceptance. I am the one that you want and need and wish to be like. But who am I really? I am a woman flesh and bone with wants needs and desires. Dreams and realities that take me on many adventures...some good and a few bad shape the woman I am today. Those adventures are called relationships and I have had a few too many I think. I have loved and I have lost much like everyone else in the world....but why am I so hurt and live in darkness for most of my life? Will someone ever realize that I am the missing ingredient in their life. One day I will find out and feel like I have mastered my life and in someway I will be complete. What really shapes us are those experiences from our past that we often relive in our minds. Some take the form of nightmares that shudder our sleep so much that we take it with us throughout the day. It reflects in our daily activities and hangs on our backs like a parasitic leech. I have to remind myself of my new credo's, "Why Bother" and "Let it Go" and shake those demons off my back with such great force they never return. The good and the bad make us who we are today and we may not like the person we see in the mirror but that is the person we have become. We have blossomed into beautiful human beings. A person that deserves love and acceptance without judgement. But will that ever happen? I just can't answer that and I am known to have an answer for everything. I am so confused right now, my heart is full of love and feel I have been shell shocked every time.

Every now and then a person comes into your life with whom you share something that you just don't understand. You feel a bit overwhelmed with emotion and your heart is twisted in an intricate knot that you try so many times in vain, to untie. But that knot holds strong until one day it slowly becomes unraveled and the truth is right before your eyes. A moment of clarity maybe, but for the most part it is the fibers of a relationship that has held strong through he worst finally has reached calm waters. The constant turmoil of indecision leaves us all in a panic..did we say the right thing? did we act the right way? are all questions us insecure people ask of ourselves everyday. People remind me everyday of how I "have it all together and in balance"...I have balance, maybe, but I am far from all together.

I balance my life much like the goddess I write as. I am a goddess in the kitchen and I can create the most sensual meals for pleasure and satisfaction. I challenge myself on a regular basis to try something new and have an open mind and palate. I express myself through the food I create and the soundtrack backing it. Every menu to me is backed by an intricate musical score that I carefully orchestrate in my kitchen. The colors, textures and flavors describe my moods and fears like an artist puts his on canvas. I put together many menus that are complicated as I find the need to challenge my abilities on a continual basis. You have to find the right balance of ingredients and then totally throw yourself a curve by enhancing what is already known by many as perfection.  .My recipe today will challenge you and just add your own touch to this one. This is not my creation but the base recipe I use and try to challenge myself every time I make it.

Goat Cheese Soufflé
4 individual soufflés
I’m certain this mixture would be great spread over some lightly sweetened berries or orange segments then topped with crunchy sugar crystals and baked in a gratin dish, which I’m going to try when berries are in season. As mentioned, this soufflé is on the less-sweet side. Be sure to put a nice blanket of sugar on top, but if you like things on the sweeter side, you can add an extra tablespoon of sugar to the base.

¼ cup full-fat cream cheese
4 large eggs, separated, at room temperature
4 ounces fresh goat cheese
grated zest of 1 lemon
4 tablespoons sugar
pinch of salt

additional butter and sugar for preparing the baking dishes
1. Liberally butter four 4-ounce ramekins or custard cups. Sprinkle a few spoonfuls of the additional sugar inside, tilt the dish to spread the sugar and coat the bottom and sides, then tip out any excess. Set the ramekins on a baking sheet.

2. Preheat the oven to 400ºF.

3. Use a whisk, or an electric mixer with the paddle attachment, to mash the cream cheese, egg yolks, goat cheese and lemon zest until the mixture completely smooth.
4. With an electric mixer, or by hand, whisk the egg whites in a clean, dry bowl (not plastic) until frothy, with the salt. Increase the speed, until the whites begin to mound and hold their shape. While whipping, gradually add the sugar, one tablespoon at a time. Once you’ve added all the sugar, beat until stiff.
5. Fold one-third of the beaten egg whites into the goat cheese mixture, then fold in the remaining egg whites just until incorporated. It’s okay to have some tiny bits of white; that’s preferable to over folding the batter.
6. Scrape the batter into the prepared baking dishes, gently smooth the tops, and sprinkle the soufflés with an even layer of sugar, about 1/2 teaspoon each.

7. Bake the soufflés on the middle rack (or slightly higher, if possible) of the oven for 10 to 15 minutes, until the top is browned and the soufflé is just set but still very jiggly in the center if you nudge it. Depending on your oven, it may take slightly less or more time. Soufflés are best when slightly runny in the center.

Variation: If you’d like to add a bit of lemony tang to the soufflés, squeeze a few drops of fresh lemon or citrus juice over the soufflés after you sprinkle the tops with sugar.

Note: Fresh goat cheese is often found at well-stocked supermarkets and farmer’s markets

"What Just Happened?" "Filet Oscar for 2"

Hi Friends......it has been a whirlwind few days for me, I honestly don't know what is going on. I am happy, really, it has been so long since I knew what that felt like that I have to ask myself constantly if this is real.....and it is. My close friends know I have met someone, someone that I have shared more of my inner self with then I share with you here on this wall. Someone that I can see myself spending a lot more of my time with. Did I just type that?  Wow I guess I did.

Now the goddess gets her turn.

Love, Sex and Food are all passions of mine. We all sit and watch cooking shows and wonder how did they do that or can I really do that at home.......well the answer is yes, you can.....if you have the passion. I look at food, sex and love as one entity, a whole being. When I am in the kitchen at home I don't rush things I like to take them nice and slow for an intimate dining experience. Sometimes life throws you a curve and going slow just isn't in the equation, with food and matters of the heart it happens quite often. Watching your hollandaise with love and care to make sure it never reaches a boil is one of those instances. Making sure you softly stir the blend of ingredients with love and care to nurture the sauce is important in building this classic. From this kitchen goddesses standpoint food and love are the same thing. I once said the man for me would be the one that helps me prep in between passionate embrace, turns up the music and dances with me while waiting on water to boil and playfully does the dishes with me when it's time to clean up. Hmmmmmm and what happens after that well you'll just have to use your imagination. Just like when you are trying to replicate that dish you watched being made on Food Network...you sometimes have to use your imagination to put your signature on it and then it is perfect and your own. Just like in relationships, it doesn't matter how fast or slow things start what matters is the quality of the time spent together. What matters is when you look into each others eyes you can look into anothers heart and soul. What matters is when you hold someone that yes, you feel like the only two people on earth and yet the world goes on around you for minutes and you don't give notice. What matters is when you kiss that every bit of passion and lust you have is contained in that kiss and no one else matters at that point and time. What matters is that every ingredient is right and blends well and when it's all said and done you have a masterpiece...in love and in the kitchen.

Today's recipe is a classic dish that I just love to share......Enjoy and Tasty Tastings Everyone!!!!


I made this one easy for you by using packaged Bernaise which is something I usually make from scratch in the kitchen and in the shop.


Chef Sheri's Filet Oscar for 2


2 filet mignon, 1 1/2-inch thick
1 cup butter
1/2 lb fresh crabmeat
1 (6 ounce) package Knorr Bearnaise sauce mix
1 cup whole milk
asparagus


Salt and pepper raw steaks before grilling.

Broil 10 - 12 minutes on one side, then 8 - 9 minutes on other side (medium). Simmer 1/2 stick butter with crabmeat on low heat until warm.

Prepare Knorr's Bernaise sauce, with one whole stick of butter and using whole milk only, by following the directions on package.

Cook asparagus and some water into microwave for 2 - 2 1/2 minutes.

To serve: Place crabmeat over steak, asparagus over crabmeat, and cover with Bernaise sauce.


Share with someone you love!!!!!!!

"Music In My Heart & In My Kitchen!"

Today's blog was hard to come up with. Talking to my sister this morning helped and she suggested I write about memories of the past loves I have had. Well Cindia it did help and that memory is music and my love and passion for it.


Music is a stirrer of souls and emotions that we bury deep within. It can inspire us through lyric or the melodic twang of a slide guitar or the lustful beat of a drum. Yes I have a passion for men of music that can be compared to a 5 course meal. This should be fun as I often accept challenges from clients, being know as the rocker chick Chef,  to pair my courses to music. So in this fun little blog I will show you what I have come up with today.

First Course: would be something along the lines of an Amuse Bouche ( a savory chef's choice bite-sized appetizer). I would pair Jimi Hendrix's "Red House" with my "Spicy Ahi Mango Salad" and serve it amuse bouche style on a large, guitar shaped spoon. Jimi's slow, meticulous fingering of his guitar just unnerves me to a height of virtual orgasm. The style and finesse he plays with make me feel like a ripe mango being peeled for his pleasure then diced up into little pieces to be used on top of a spicy dish to defer the heat and add a bit of sweetness. The heat in this dish comes from the creamy wasabi and ginger dressing I mix with the red passion of Ahi Tuna for tantalizing my taste buds. Pure food orgasm in my mouth and paired with the spicy "Red House" I just can't stop thinking how Jimi would have liked it. Would he have bowed down to me like the Goddess I am and worshipped me like many worship him? I guess I will never know but it makes for some great fantasy.

Second Course: I have picked a soup. My Thai Coconut Soup paired with the late, great and always sexy Freddie Mercury and Queens "Dragon Attack". The high energy that Freddie gave in his performances is the perfect pairing to this flaming on the palate soup. aromatic ginger, Kaffir lime leaves, lemon grass, serrano peppers, coconut milk and coriander give this soup the right flavor and make me feel super sexed up. The heart pounding music of Queen and the dramatic flair of Freddie give me chills up and down my spine. He knew how to energize a crowd into a tumultuous frenzy. Makes me want to move my hips the way my taste buds are dancing to this rock hit paired with this aromatic soup. I never want either to end as they both rock my world in such a fashion that the sexual energy comes charging out of my body. WOW!!!! I may need a cold shower after this one.

Third Course: Hmmmm I have given this one some careful thought and think I may slow it down a bit for a unami appetizer of my "Anything For Love Oysters" paired with Paul Cole's "Feeling Love". Oysters, yum and what an aphrodisiac they are. The mere sight of them turns me on. The saltiness of the shellfish is such a mouthwatering delight they make me feel like the amazon is running between my thighs. When you share oysters with someone you love it can be sensual and turn an ordinary evening into a night of pleasure and passion. Paula's voice is as sensual as oysters. She can turn any mere man into mush as long as the right Goddess is playing this song for him. I am just the Goddess to do that....lol.

Fourth Course: This one is an important one as it is the main course that should only have a true rock superhero to be paired with and I have chosen Eric Clapton and his song 'Running On Faith" paired with my classic dish "Asparagus Steak Oscar" Nice and slow and easy as you taste every flavor in this dish inspired by Eric's amazing guitar skills and lyric genius. Yes I love Eric Clapton and he is an artist I would throw down in the kitchen with in more ways than one. ; )! I think this song has been a major part of my life and relationships in my life or the lack thereof. This song inspires me to have faith and our world will be right, love will come over me one day when I least expect it. The pairing of this song to the dish is an incredible combination as I pair the finest cut of meat with the finest musician to ever grace this world with his presence and skills IMHO. The falic shape of asparagus screams out his manhood, the crab meat topping is as succulent as his music is.. and the Bearnaise well use your imagination on that one however you would like but I seem to compare it with his silky style that leaves me in awe every time I go to one of his shows. My dream is to cook for him one day then make him mine...yes, we can all dream. I think I am blushing.

The Fifth and Final Course: It's dessert time and I am having a hard time with this. So many sweet, inspirational songs to make my mouth water and my thighs quiver but I have carefully selected 2 songs..........my main man Adam Levine and Maroon 5's "The Sweetest Goodbye" and "Secret". Oh yes, him again and if you know me you know I am a pool of liquid heat when I listen to Maroon 5. So I have chosen to pair Adam with my Chocolate Chipotle Pepper Mousse. I picked two songs because we never want dessert to end and what a way to top off an evening then ending it with Adam. The two main ingredients in this dish sometimes confuse my palate but always leave me wanting another bite. The aphrodisiac properties of chocolate combined with the heat of chipotle pepper is the sweet and spicy ending we all fantasize about in relationships. The heat of passion that two lovers feel while in each others arms for the first time or hundredth time is what I compare this dessert to. The mouth feel of this dish is much like a long kiss in the candlelight, soft, passionate and hot. I have kissed many frogs while listening to Adam and one day I will have that feeling of total isolation with my man and I will say he makes me a pool of liquid heat and he makes me feel like the goddess I am. Only one has done that to me yet in my 40 something years and it was only once, the first time we were together. I often wonder if I will ever feel that way again with someone but on a regular basis. Will I ever feel the steamy passion of one man that will make my life a spicy, sweet ending just like dessert? I sure as hell hope so.

So on that note I will leave you with a recipe from the final chapter of my book....Tasty Tastings Everyone!

Chocolate Mousse with Chipotle Chile

Serves 2-3

3.5 oz good quality, dark chocolate bar, chopped or broken in small pieces
1 tablespoon butter
¼ cup water, divided
1 tablespoon sugar
2 large egg yolks
1/8 teaspoon ground chipotle
Very tiny pinch of salt
½ cup plus 1 tablespoon very cold whipping cream
Extra cream and chocolate shavings to garnish

1. Using a double boiler, or a mixing bowl set above a pan of simmering water, blend the chocolate, butter and 2 tablespoons water, stirring until the chocolate melts and the mixture turns voluptuously velvety. Remove from heat.

2. In a second bowl, over the same pot of simmering water, whisk the sugar, egg yolks and 2 tablespoons water until the mixture is foamy and hot to the touch, about 160 degrees. Don't let the eggs scramble.
3. Pour the egg mixture into the chocolate and whisk until smooth. Let the mixture cool down to room temperature or slightly cooler. Add the secret ingredient -- the chipotle chile powder -- and the salt.
4. Whip the cream to soft peaks. Fold half into the chocolate, blending well. Fold the other half into the chocolate, mixing to combine. Some streaks are fine. Pour into ramekins, cover with plastic wrap and chill for several hours or overnight. When ready to serve, top each serving with a dollop of whipped cream and a sprinkling of chocolate shavings.

"Sacrificial Lamb Stew" & "Why Bother" & "Let It Go"

Seriously I wonder what makes people do the heinous things they do to others. It is that they are insecure or afraid of possibilities or is it that they are just plain mean and could care less about the feelings of others. I guess we will never know what goes through the minds of some people but yet we try and try to understand and fix what is broken. I have decided to live by the credo of "why bother" and "let it go" so now on I can move on and share the fun stuff again today.

Today's blog is much different than yesterday's darkness. I was in a fog over something that was done to me for whatever reason it was done but "why bother" I have "let it go" so I had to turn to my dark side yesterday or as Jeff Lindsey calls it my "dark passenger" in order to build the walls around my heart again. Some people were offended by what I said and I was judged unfairly, so to them I say "why bother" and "let it go".

We do and say a lot of things for passion and true love...do we mean them? Do we tell someone how much the mean to us and then it not be true? Do we ask the right questions of others just to build them up to let them down? Do we apologize half-assed for something we did or didn't do and make up lame excuses to make the other feel bad and turn the tables on them? I say NO WAY! To me life is full of cop outs and endless excuses and I say "why bother" and "let it go".  What others play around with and treat as junk to some is a treasure.....well I am a treasure. A treasure to behold to be praised and worshiped as an ancient Greek goddess. Sure sometimes the heart can be used as a sacrificial lamb but those that do that are worthless themselves and deserve to be alone and suffer from endless hurt. But I am my own realm of pleasure, passion and seductive lust that when the right man comes along I will fill his heart with love and unbridled passion like he has have never known before. He will be worshiped by me and inspired to be a better man on a daily basis as will I be inspired by his love. We will live life with the utmost joy and love and at times feel like the only two people on earth regardless if we are at a Widespread Panic concert or on a deserted beach in the Keys the connection will be there. We will awake each day to a shared desire and passion for each other and never, ever care to have another partner in life but the one laying in our arms as we wake after a night of lust. Ahhh the glory and splendor of true love...it's what keeps our heart beating strong and the juices of creativity flowing. Sure I have my three main fantasy guys Adam Levine for his poetic writing, Jim Morrison for his bad boy image and mad skills in the bedroom and Dexter Morgan for is dark passenger, but where fantasy ends reality must begin and I know that somewhere down the line those three men will collide in a realistic fury and implode the walls and make my heart whole again. Until then I will keep saying 'why bother" and "let it go", until the right man comes along I will continue on my quest to please and be pleased, to satisfy the burning desires that some have tried to extinguish or judge me on. I am me! I am the woman of your fantasies and dreams. I am the woman that will love you endlessly and whole hearted. I am a goddess, a follower of Dionysus and I dance to the beat of my own heart. My heart is not someones sacrificial lamb to be left at the alter for a dark force to engulf in it's cold, steel digestive tract. I am the epitome of Aphrodite...at least for someone if not myself. What would posses someone to deny their heart to me is unknown but it is their loss in the end. So once again I say "why bother and "let it go", live with your heart and mind as a free spirit and know that some may try to break that spirit but never let it happen. Never let someone tell you the right things only to become the reality of hurt. Pick and choose from a sea of many as you will find you'll land the catch of the day if you just keep casting your line in the deep ocean.



So on today's menu I have decided to share with you my "Sacrificial Lamb Stew" in honor of this past weekends events....enjoy and Tasty Tasting everyone!

Give a listen to this while your cooking!

"Sacrificial Lamb Stew"

Serves 4

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 pounds boneless, lean lamb stew meat, cut in 1 in. cubes
• 1 tsp. salt
• 1/2 tsp. pepper
• 1/4 cup all purpose flour
• 2 tbsp. vegetable oil
• 1 lg. (1 cup) onion, sliced thin
• 2 cups water
• 1 cup baby carrots
• 2 cups diced potatoes
• 2 cups diced rutabaga or turnips
• 1 cup frozen peas, thawed

Preparation:

Sprinkle lamb with 1/2 teaspoon salt and the pepper. Coat with flour. Heat oil in a 2 to 3 quart Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Brown lamb a few pieces at a time in the hot oil. Remove to Crock Pot with slotted spoon. Reduce heat to medium. Add onion and cook 3 to 4 minutes, stirring occasionally until lightly browned. Stir in the water, scraping up browned bits on bottom of pot. Transfer onion mixture to the Crock Pot; add carrots potato and rutabaga. Cover and cook on low for 8 to 10 hours, adding peas during the last 30 to 45 minutes.