"Lifers" & "Honey and Rum Glazed Shrimp Salad"

Sometimes you just have to wonder what makes people tick or the cause of their neurosis . You have to understand what the main cause is to their reactions. Is it something I said, did, didn't do, do you not love me anymore, why don't you understand, and on and on as we try to speculate what someone else is thinking. I give up, I do, really........

In the kitchen, when working as a team, speculation and being in tune with each other is a must. Communication is KEY to any relationship in the kitchen or personal.  My sous and I work well together because we look at our relationship in the kitchen as a marriage, we know everything about each others daily lives, routine or lack there of and he knows what to anticipate during the course of service. We communicate telepathically sometimes as he is always ready with the next step before I am. We are a fine running machine cranking out the most divine food in town. It makes me wonder, how come personal relationships don't work that way? How come we find it so hard to communicate with or partners? Why do we try to speculate our partners thoughts and actions only to be shamefully wrong?  I think sometimes, is it because we want to be right. Do we not want things to be smooth or are we trying to fix something and in the course of repair to damage it even further?

Whenever I meet a senior couple I ask them the same questions....how long have you been married? and what's your secret? Those lifers (as I call them) have been committed to the same partner for decades and they are as in love as the first day they committed their hearts to one another. I love the stories they tell of how they first met and why they have been together for so long. I asked one couple a few days ago what their secret was and they told me COMPROMISE, COMMUNICATION and SEX. I asked them to explain and she said "whenever we have a disagreement we always find that compromise is the best solution, we remember we love each other unconditionally and we respect each others beliefs and sometimes it's easier to give in then argue." I nodded my head in agreement and then he said" Communication is important in every way, especially when I tell her how much I love her everyday."  then I asked about sex and she said "well at our age is doesn't happen as much as it used to but we have the memories of many good times and a prescription for Cialis for when we want to make new ones." I of course had to laugh at that one and told them how much I admired them and then walked away with a smile on my face.

So now as I sit and over-analyze things in my life I have to reflect on past relationships and the lesson that kind couple taught me that evening.
Compromise- do I always have to be right? can someone else's opinions and views matter to me? As much as I always try to be right, this goddess is only human and can admit when she has made a mistake or is incorrect. It comes right down to respect and in a relationship that respect must be mutual for it to ever stand a chance of making you a "lifer".

Communication- Darn it guys, when we ask you "what are you thinking" please just give us an honest answer and don't roll your eyes. We just want to know because you are all so darn tough to figure out and god forbid if we assume. So lighten up and answer the damn questions we ask, it helps us now what makes you tick and how to please you, but you had better do some pleasing yourself.......on to.........

Sex- Here is my favorite part. For the most part women love to make their man happy. It is in our nature to please and nurture. If you are not being seduced on a regular basis men then you need to start looking for an answer as to why. Are you being affectionate and playful? Are you making sure we know we are a goddess through your thoughts, actions and passionate kisses? Is she the right girl for you if she has no interest in sex or fulfilling your needs if not get rid of her? Sex is fun and there is a difference between making love and sex. When I make love to a man I love to kiss passionately, connect our souls as we look in each others eyes and hold him so close afterwards because I never want it to end. Making love is the art of connecting with your partner on a passionate and spiritual level while having sex. Now not every time you have sex you make love, oh no. Sex is the act of completely and thoroughly throwing down in the bedroom, or kitchen or wherever because it doesn't matter where you do it or when you do it  you both know it's gonna be good and the fact that you are with someone you deeply care about and love makes it all so sweeter.

So those are the key ingredients in being a "lifer", I always hope to be one someday, share my life with someone through good times and bad. Hold his hand as we communicate openly, and have the best sex/making love either one has ever experienced. Is that too much to ask for? I think not but still wonder if it ever will.

I have included one of my favorite salads today. All the ingredients merge well that's why this recipe is a "lifer" in my book....Enjoy and Tasty Tastings Everyone!!!!

Honey, Lime and Rum Glazed Shrimp

Ingredients

1/2 cup freshly squeezed lime juice

1/2 cup dark rum

1 tbsp freshly grated ginger

2 tbsp cornstarch, dissolved in 2 tbsp lime juice

3/4 cup honey

sea salt and freshly ground black pepper

zest of 2 limes

1/4 cup finely chopped cilantro

20 large shrimp, peeled and deveined

2 tbsp oil or bacon grease (heavenly flavor)

salt and pepper to taste

Directions

1. The glaze: Combine lime juice, rum and ginger in medium-size saucepan and bring to a boil over high heat. Whisk in cornstarch and lime juice mixture and honey. Add salt and pepper to taste. Cook until thickened, about 1 to 2 minutes. Remove from heat and let cool completely. When glaze is cooled, stir in the lime zest and the cilantro. Transfer to a container, cover and keep cool.

2. Preheat grill to medium-hot. Toss shrimp with the oil, 6 tbsp of the glaze and salt and pepper to taste. Grill shrimp for 1 to 2 minutes each side, brushing frequently with more glaze. Cook until shrimp are bright pink on the outside and white on the inside.

Salad


1 8oz package organic spring mix washed and dried 
1/2 Cup sliced red onion
1/2 cup died cranberries
1/4 cup glazed pecans
6oz crumbled goat cheese


layer all ingredients in above order and the top with shrimp.




ENJOY!!!!!!

"Forbidden Fruit" and "Ahi-Melon Ceviche"

What is your dirty little secret? Come on folks we all have one or two tucked deep in the vaults of our mind that make us laugh, sometimes cry and at other times cast an evil smile thinking about times past, present and future. 
I have many dirty little juicy, succulent secrets that no one will ever tap into....that is unless I allow it! I think many of us need to know the difference between what is taboo and what is normal. I believe that if we really look into this subject we will find that our perversity's are quite normal and there is nothing to hide. We live in a different world then the ones that our parents lived in and raised us in, our world is where non-conformity is appreciated and expected and held in the highest regard. I was on an online dating site at one time and thought it was quite strange that men were asking for pictures of my feet instead of my breasts but then realized that we are in a world where it is acceptable to ask these things and that nothing is sacred anymore. It was actually quite fun after awhile but then.....................well that's another story. 


My dirty little secret, I have been involved with 2 men in their 20's in the recent past, well at least they were in their late 20's, and even though for many years of being considered taboo and it is quite the norm now, I still felt awkward and it never really worked out due to my own insecurities. But now that I look back I made one huge mistake, judging a relationship based on age difference and thinking it wasn't socially acceptable. The only reason why I walked away was because I was worried about what other people thought. He didn't care and enjoyed the fact that I was more experienced in, well, everything. He worshiped me like the Goddess I am and I was horrible to him in the end and made every excuse instead of telling him the truth. Sorry Steve :-(


The bible tells us that Eve tempted Adam with an apple, a forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden. When Adam took a bite the small world they knew changed, shut down and everything was revealed. All at once they were cast out unto the land and their innocence was lost. The loss of innocence I have experienced as a chef is on my taste buds. I was a virgin to flavor for many years, overloaded everything I ate with table salt before I tasted it. I never learned to appreciate the flavors for what they were there for, my pleasure. When I open a bottle of my favorite varietal, Pinot Noir I take every bit that bottle has to offer inside my mouth and let my senses do the rest. It is almost like sex for the first time with someone new. You're shy, nervous and really don't know what to expect but in the end you really kind of liked it and want more and more and more. Well folks that's what my taste buds do to me. They throw me into a sheer state of orgasmic pleasure that cums many times a meal. Food is a pleasure equivalent to sex for some like myself and it is hard to stay satisfied with the amazing new generation of chefs we have. Some are traditional, conformists that never think outside the box while others dabble in molecular gastronomy and create scientific culinary delights with some edge. The pleasure I get watching someone devour the food I have created so patiently with love, makes my heart flutter. Whether it be a simple Meatloaf Mashed Potatoes and Gravy or my famous Lobster Tango Mango that has dazzled the finest palates, my fetish is the pleasure I get from the pleasure I create. So tonight peeps here is something to make your mouth orgasm....my Ahi-Melon Ceviche........Enjoy and Tasty Tastings Everyone!




Ahi Tuna and Watermelon Ceviche

Ingredients
Serves 4
1 pound (16 ounces) sushi grade Ahi tuna, diced
2 cups watermelon, 
1 cup diced red onion, chopped
1 teaspoon garlic, minced
1 teaspoon ginger, grated
4 tablespoons soy sauce
2 teaspoon honey4 tablespoons fresh lime juice


1 jalapeño sliced
1 avocado chopped
1 mango diced





Cilantro

Method

Dice the tuna and watermelon into equally small pieces. In a bowl, whisk together soy sauce, honey, and lime juice. Stir in the chopped red onion, garlic, and ginger. Add the tuna and watermelon and toss to distribute the mixture. Add the avocado and carefully stir, making sure that the pieces stay whole. Garnish with cilantro, place atop blue corn chip add mango and sliced jalapeño.


















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Unleashing The Monsters!!!

Need to vent!!!! Here we go.

For some reason I am looking for my monsters tonight. I don't know if it's to deal with the confusion in my brain right now, the wrenching of my gut or if it's just that they need to play for awhile. I have been blocked today, I put out a crappy blog earlier I think and now I need to resurrect some demons and maybe throw a fiery recipe at you later. So here I sit with you tonight, eating really good left over sushi and drinking a Daringly Dark (that what is says on the label) Blueberry Acai juice and thinking it's time for them to get out and play................

We all sit and wonder why and how things get so fucked up. We have to ask ourselves what roles did we play in making this happen and how do we fix it. Some of us just quit and non-exist like I did a few months ago or some of us try as we realize we have no other choice but to carry on like I realize now. Sometimes I wish I could go back to that place again, drowning in the churning waters of the tears I shed. Being a non-entity and having to fake a smile wherever I would venture. It was a hard existence but I muddled through. I remember not getting dressed for two days at a time and just watching endless episodes of Dexter. The Ice Truck Killer, Lila, The Skinner, and John Lithgow's amazing Rita killing, Trinity Killer, I watched Dexter Morgan unleash his demons on them with such passion that it made my blood boil with arousal. I barely remember the friends that came to visit and tell me it was going to be alright. It was a painful time in my life filled with anger and hatred towards myself. But why? I have a great life, great friends a great career, why? I don't think I can ever answer that honestly to anyone but myself. I have bottled up my demons and every now and then I have to ask for their help in  protecting me from whatever pain I am trying to avoid. Death, despair, friendships imploded by jealousy, being alone, trying to understand.............myself. What is so fucking wrong with me?

I am an alright person, I am a great mother and chef and I have a full life in the music business. Sure I don't sleep when I'm home I stay up and work on recipes and writing until I can't hold my head up any longer and pass out on the couch because god knows I damn sure don't want to sleep in that bed. I get maybe 3 hours of sleep when I'm home and the nights scare me so I wait until dawn to lay my head down. I want to walk out on the beach to scream like a mermaid being plucked out of the water against her will to relieve frustrations. I have never done it because I seem to find myself climbing in my tiny shower and sitting in the corner and crying my heart out where no one will find me.

But on the bright side I have fun!!! I balance everything so well I can go out and enjoy my musician friends and their glorious talent with no regret as to any issues in my life. The hard driving, soul shaking beats make my heart beat in their time. I find my greatest escape is within those walls where the music brings life to my soulless self. I let down my game face after the first set and from then on it's a vacation from everyday life into the world of my musician friends and I LOVE IT!!! That's when the demons get unleashed and play, they build up strength from the riveting beats to shield my heart and soul and protect me from those that trespass against me. They fill my insides with their glowing light of fiery attitude and frivolous spirit, and no one can ever take that from me. It is my desire and need to let them play every now and then or my brain would implode from thinking too much. My demons help keep my heart from being the sacrificial lamb I wrote about 3 weeks ago. They keep my thoughts in check and organize them in such a way the next morning I wake up with a clean slate. So there is nothing wrong with my demons being unleashed every now and then as long as I keep them at bay when they aren't needed for survival.

My demons also help me deal with intimacy at all levels by making me a facade of strength when my guard is down. They help me hide my imperfections and disguise my heart so no one can break it. They shield my soul so no one can strip it bare and leave it in pieces on the ground. Sometimes they are not there and I let someone in at my own risk. No protection or disguise, just the shell of a heart and selfless soul left in the open for yet another round of fuck with my head. Not always the case but the last go round was pure hell and I never want to go back there again. 

So tonight I wanted to write and put this out there. I needed to vent some frustrations and give you a look inside my head. I am always the goddess but sometimes it's nice to take a walk on the wild side.

Good Night Friends! Tasty Tastings Everyone

'A Guys, Girl and Creme Brulee!"

Being a guys girl isn't easy, a friend stated earlier that as a guy's girl I have to put up with a lot of crap. It all depends on how you look at it I guess. I have many female friends who's friendship's and heart's I treasure. Their strength cannot be measured as they have broad shoulders and big arms on many different girlish frames. These women are goddesss in my opinion but I will always be me, the guy's girl. Ball game watching, fish catching, beer drinking (3-I'm a light weight), Bill Maher quoting, action movie loving me. I can still be a girly girl at times as I love my mani-pedi's, being pampered, heavy petting, passionate kissing, dressing up, flirting and retail therapy but the vast majority of my friends are guy's who appreciate guy's girls and of course respect and worship me for being the goddess in which I am.

Being the consummate guy's girl isn't always easy, there are rules. First you have to learn to tolerate certain male traits that you and others may find annoying even offending. Second, sometimes you have to pretend you like something you really don't like but find out in the long run you really do like it. And third, you may have to watch your heart as one of your guy friends may try to steal it without you even knowing and that means trouble. Once you can decipher which guys you can be a guy's girl with and those that make your heart scream danger you are ready to be the consummate guy's girl.

Rule 1. Men can and will be pigs if given any opportunity. Not all of them of course, but nonetheless some of the ones I am friends with are, and apparently the level of guy/girl trust is there between us that there are no holes barred. Off color humor, sexist jokes, sounds, smells and habits must be tolerated if you are going to be a guy's girl.

Rule 2. Taking interest in things that you normally don't take interest in. Examples: Extreme fighting, killing helpless animals and beer pong. Okay I like beer pong as it is challenging but ask me to shoot, gut and eat a deer after looking into it's sweet brown eyes and I run to the hills. But I have learned through experience that it is okay to not like something as being a guy's girl you have to be open minded and be prepared for everything and anything. Who knows you may like it after all and it becomes part of your lifestyle. Like jumping out of an airplane.

Rule 3: To me this is the most important rule as my heart has been destroyed many times by this type of guy. I have many guy friends that seem to fall in love with this guy's girl. Hey, it hurts all parties involved. This is the type of relationship that starts as any typical guy's girl friendship starts, a night shooting pool, diving in the Keys, a Bucs game, or even just an innocent chat on the phone, and it blossoms into an explosion of pure sexual tension that is one-sided and un-warranted or needed to be my friend. I do not expect anything more then friendship and honesty from my guy friends and some seem to take it to the extreme that can be painful and scary at times. I get asked out by guy friends on dates al least 4 times a week and I usually don't go as it is the intention of the invitation, being a "date" that drives me away. I have had relationships with guy friends and it just doesn't work for me. Well, not all the time anyway, I married a close guy friend and after many years together it fell apart because we were too good of friends for it to work. Nothing was sacred and after all the fun and games we had, in the long run, we weren't who we thought we were after all. It's devastating so I stay away from those type of friendships. It took alot to get over him but we have remained friends after 6 years divorced and life is better that way. The space time continuum will not be interrupted.

Sometimes I have to look at myself in the mirror and ask what do I have to offer and what do I really want in my life when it comes to relationships. I know I can show him things he's never seen before for his mind to untangle on his own and through my eyes. Thoughts of deep contemplation that really stir up emotions and desires that leave our hearts pounding out of our chests can often happen. I just don't know what goes on in my heart and head sometimes and why I feel like I am alone when I'm not. I can't say how I feel here in this public forum as I'm not sure but how to handle these thoughts and emotions. They are a different story and blog for another time. So for right now I may as well make some creme brulee. Enjoy and Tasty Tastings Everyone!!!

Dark Chocolate and Caramelized Banana Creme Brulee"

Ingredients:

• 2 cups heavy cream
• 2 cups half and half
• 8 ounces dark chocolate, chopped fine
• 8 large egg yolks
• 1/3 cup sugar plus more for sprinkling
• 1 large banana, peeled and sliced into 1/4-inch rounds

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 300°F. In a large pot, heat cream and half and half until they just begin to bubble. Reduce heat to low. Add chocolate and whisk until melted and smooth. Remove from heat. Whisk yolks and 1/3 cup sugar in large bowl and blend well. Egg yolks will turn light yellow. Gradually whisk in hot chocolate mixture. Strain (optional). Divide custard among eight 6-ounce ramekins or custard cups. Place cups in large baking pan. Add enough hot water to pan to come halfway up sides of cups. Bake until custards are just set (about 45 minutes). Custard will be mostly solid but still jiggle a bit in the center. Remove from water and refrigerate overnight.

When ready to serve, preheat broiler. Place banana slices on top of crème brûlées in a single layer. Sprinkle the top of each dish with 1 tablespoon sugar. Broil until sugar turns golden (about 3 minutes). Watch very closely while broiling to avoid burning the sugar. Alternatively, you can brown the sugar with a handheld propane or butane torch.

For a spicy edition add 1/4 teaspoon of chipotle powder in the creme brulee mix before you cook.