Sometimes you just have to wonder what makes people tick or the cause of their neurosis . You have to understand what the main cause is to their reactions. Is it something I said, did, didn't do, do you not love me anymore, why don't you understand, and on and on as we try to speculate what someone else is thinking. I give up, I do, really........
In the kitchen, when working as a team, speculation and being in tune with each other is a must. Communication is KEY to any relationship in the kitchen or personal. My sous and I work well together because we look at our relationship in the kitchen as a marriage, we know everything about each others daily lives, routine or lack there of and he knows what to anticipate during the course of service. We communicate telepathically sometimes as he is always ready with the next step before I am. We are a fine running machine cranking out the most divine food in town. It makes me wonder, how come personal relationships don't work that way? How come we find it so hard to communicate with or partners? Why do we try to speculate our partners thoughts and actions only to be shamefully wrong? I think sometimes, is it because we want to be right. Do we not want things to be smooth or are we trying to fix something and in the course of repair to damage it even further?
Whenever I meet a senior couple I ask them the same questions....how long have you been married? and what's your secret? Those lifers (as I call them) have been committed to the same partner for decades and they are as in love as the first day they committed their hearts to one another. I love the stories they tell of how they first met and why they have been together for so long. I asked one couple a few days ago what their secret was and they told me COMPROMISE, COMMUNICATION and SEX. I asked them to explain and she said "whenever we have a disagreement we always find that compromise is the best solution, we remember we love each other unconditionally and we respect each others beliefs and sometimes it's easier to give in then argue." I nodded my head in agreement and then he said" Communication is important in every way, especially when I tell her how much I love her everyday." then I asked about sex and she said "well at our age is doesn't happen as much as it used to but we have the memories of many good times and a prescription for Cialis for when we want to make new ones." I of course had to laugh at that one and told them how much I admired them and then walked away with a smile on my face.
So now as I sit and over-analyze things in my life I have to reflect on past relationships and the lesson that kind couple taught me that evening.
Compromise- do I always have to be right? can someone else's opinions and views matter to me? As much as I always try to be right, this goddess is only human and can admit when she has made a mistake or is incorrect. It comes right down to respect and in a relationship that respect must be mutual for it to ever stand a chance of making you a "lifer".
Communication- Darn it guys, when we ask you "what are you thinking" please just give us an honest answer and don't roll your eyes. We just want to know because you are all so darn tough to figure out and god forbid if we assume. So lighten up and answer the damn questions we ask, it helps us now what makes you tick and how to please you, but you had better do some pleasing yourself.......on to.........
Sex- Here is my favorite part. For the most part women love to make their man happy. It is in our nature to please and nurture. If you are not being seduced on a regular basis men then you need to start looking for an answer as to why. Are you being affectionate and playful? Are you making sure we know we are a goddess through your thoughts, actions and passionate kisses? Is she the right girl for you if she has no interest in sex or fulfilling your needs if not get rid of her? Sex is fun and there is a difference between making love and sex. When I make love to a man I love to kiss passionately, connect our souls as we look in each others eyes and hold him so close afterwards because I never want it to end. Making love is the art of connecting with your partner on a passionate and spiritual level while having sex. Now not every time you have sex you make love, oh no. Sex is the act of completely and thoroughly throwing down in the bedroom, or kitchen or wherever because it doesn't matter where you do it or when you do it you both know it's gonna be good and the fact that you are with someone you deeply care about and love makes it all so sweeter.
So those are the key ingredients in being a "lifer", I always hope to be one someday, share my life with someone through good times and bad. Hold his hand as we communicate openly, and have the best sex/making love either one has ever experienced. Is that too much to ask for? I think not but still wonder if it ever will.
I have included one of my favorite salads today. All the ingredients merge well that's why this recipe is a "lifer" in my book....Enjoy and Tasty Tastings Everyone!!!!
Honey, Lime and Rum Glazed Shrimp
1/2 cup freshly squeezed lime juice
1/2 cup dark rum
1 tbsp freshly grated ginger
2 tbsp cornstarch, dissolved in 2 tbsp lime juice
3/4 cup honey
sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
zest of 2 limes
1/4 cup finely chopped cilantro
20 large shrimp, peeled and deveined
2 tbsp oil or bacon grease (heavenly flavor)
salt and pepper to taste
1. The glaze: Combine lime juice, rum and ginger in medium-size saucepan and bring to a boil over high heat. Whisk in cornstarch and lime juice mixture and honey. Add salt and pepper to taste. Cook until thickened, about 1 to 2 minutes. Remove from heat and let cool completely. When glaze is cooled, stir in the lime zest and the cilantro. Transfer to a container, cover and keep cool.
2. Preheat grill to medium-hot. Toss shrimp with the oil, 6 tbsp of the glaze and salt and pepper to taste. Grill shrimp for 1 to 2 minutes each side, brushing frequently with more glaze. Cook until shrimp are bright pink on the outside and white on the inside.
1 8oz package organic spring mix washed and dried
1/2 Cup sliced red onion
1/2 cup died cranberries
1/4 cup glazed pecans
6oz crumbled goat cheese
layer all ingredients in above order and the top with shrimp.